


When we all fall asleep where do we go?

by wolfypuppypiles



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cute, Father-Son Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Whump, prepare to cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-03-26 13:53:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfypuppypiles/pseuds/wolfypuppypiles
Summary: His body lay there on the street, arm flung out to the side, palm streaked with blood. It seeped beneath him, soaking the sheet that someone had been decent enough to drape over him.Tony’s instincts told him to pull it away, that Peter couldn’t breathe with it on his face like that, but he knew it wasn’t true. Peter wasn’t breathing. Peter was dead.yeaaaaaah sorry. but if you know me you'll know how it ends





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY THIS IS GONNA HURT

His body lay there on the street, arm flung out to the side, palm streaked with blood. It seeped beneath him, soaking the sheet that someone had been decent enough to drape over him. 

Tony’s instincts told him to pull it away, that Peter couldn’t breathe with it on his face like that, but he knew it wasn’t true. Peter wasn’t breathing. Peter was dead. 

He’d been killed and in battle trying to protect civilians as they escaped the wave of aliens that had been attacking. 

Peter had fought until his very last breath, holding the monsters off on his own until everyone was out safe. But he’d been overrun and couldn’t take them on all by himself. 

The Avengers get their too late. Tony got there too late. 

His feet stumbled forward, past the police tape and crowds of reporters. “Tony you shouldn’t-“

He’d been crying, his eyes were puffy and red, tear tracks clear on his face. 

“You don’t need to see it.” 

Steve grabbed his arm, pulling him back and his eyes were so pained beneath the dirt streaked over his face. His words came as a shaky whisper but Tony didn’t want to hear them. 

“I don’t want you seeing it.” 

Steve had been the one to find the kid. His broken cry for help had spiked up Tony’s heart rate into dangerous levels and Friday had had to talk him down from a panic attack. 

“Oh god. No, please- shit, Bruce I need you! Spider-mans down-Peters...Pete’s down and he’s not...fuck he’s not breathing. I can’t get a pulse. I think he’s-“ 

Tony had thrown up and by the time his shaky feet had managed to get him to the scene the boy had been covered and his fate sealed. He’d heard Bruce’s voice through the coms, hollow and rough with tears. “Time of death, seven fifteen pm.” 

Tony’s legs had given out on him again and he hadn’t been able to get up without his suits help. It didn’t matter, there was nothing he could do. 

He threw off Steve’s hands where they held his arms now and pushed past him, trembling all over. 

“I’m not leaving him.”

Steve tried again. “Tony stop! I’m serious you don’t want to see what they did to him. You won’t get it out of your head. I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

Tony smacked his hands away, voice rising until he was shouting in the street. “I’m not leaving him alone! He’s just a kid he shouldn’t be-“ his voice cracked and he choked back a sob, words returning quiet and heavy. “He shouldn’t be by himself. I don’t want him to be scared.”

Steve watched him for a long moment, tear-filled eyes watching Tony’s own tears dripping down his face and he nodded, letting go. 

Tony pushed his weak legs on, faltering as he got closer. So much blood, a twisted arm, broken fingers, his spider suit torn up his side where claws had carved into his chest from his hip to his shoulder. 

Steve was right he didn’t want to see. But he had to. 

He knelt next to him, the horrible sight blurred with tears and he reached down to the ki-to the body. He brushed his hand over the boys head, not strong enough to remove the sheet just yet. He brushed his fingers back over Peters forehead and hair like he used to do to calm him down. 

“I’m here Pete. I’m not leaving you. I promise. I won’t ever leave you kiddo.” 

He sniffed, the weight of his grief threatening to crush him and he leaned down, sobs pouring from him as he rested his forehead against Peters. “I’m so sorry, Peter. I was supposed to protect you, I was supposed to take care of you and now- I’m sorry kiddo, I’m so sorry.” 

He sucked in a breath and pressed a hand to the boy's chest, ignoring the blood seeping through the sheet. “I love you, Petey. I should have told you before but- I love...loved you more than anything.”

He wished he could ask for forgiveness but he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve something so kind after failing to protect the brightest thing there was. 

And that word killed him. Was. Peter was such a kind boy. He had such a bright future. He was alive. Was. Not anymore. 

Tony sobbed against him, loud agonising things that made his chest ache and the tips of his fingers buzz with pins and needles. 

But then-

“Heartbeat detected.” 

Tony froze, sucking in a breath and holding it because he must have heard wrong. 

“Fri? Repeat last.” 

“Heartbeat detected. Spider-Man is in need of medical attention. Requesting medevac now.” 

“What? No, Friday he’s-“

“His heart rate has lowered to three beats per minute but it is beating. I believe he’s entered into a sort of stasis to keep himself alive.” 

Tony couldn't beleive it, he could barely move until he looked back up to Peters face where the sheet was draped over him. Peter was alive. Peter was ALIVE. Tony snapped into action and ripped the sheet away, revealing the broken boy underneath and his shout burst from his mouth before he’d made the conscious decision to speak. 

“HES ALIVE! I NEED HELP!”

The crowd of reporters and onlookers started yelling as Steve and Bruce ran back over but Tony turned away from them all and lent back down to smooth those damp curls away from Peters face. 

“I got you, kid. You’ll be okay. Just keep fighting.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of hate this chapter? also, I'm sorry the update took so long but I'm finally back from vacation and good news: I wrote lots on the plane back! and also during lines at Disney. because I wrote it in bits and pieces it may be a little choppy and I may repeat stuff so I apologize in advance but th4eres more chapters coming really soon they're already written so yeah

May was still crying. She hadn’t stopped since Steve had gone to get her. She’d been on the floor, having seen the news and it had taken a while for him to convince her that Peter was alive. 

Though, they weren’t sure if he’d stay that way. 

Bruce had called in every colleague and every favor he had to treat the boy but he was so broken...Bruce had tried to explain from the doorway, adamant that Tony couldn’t enter.

“The wounds across his chest are our biggest concern right now. He’s lost a lot of blood, that’s why his heart had slowed down so much. Helen is using the regeneration halo on him now. It should close the wounds enough to stop the bleeding but with him so weak we won’t be able to heal him all the way. He’ll still have torn skin and muscle and...they’ll likely scar. Even with his enhanced healing.” 

Tony tried to push through again. “I need to see him, Bruce.” 

Strong, steady hands caught his frantic ones and held them still. “I can’t let you do that, Tony.”

The engineer shook his head, desperate. “I don’t care what he looks like, I saw him on the street I can handle it. Just let me-“ 

Bruce was so patient, voice firm as he tried to explain. “It’s not that. Peter is one big open wound right now and if any bacteria enters his environment he wouldn’t be able to fight it off. Look, after we take care of his chest he’s going into surgery for his arm and it’ll take the rest of the night. Take May to a guest room and sleep.”

Tony wiped a hand over his face and lowered his voice so that May wouldn’t hear. “Bruce...what if I leave and he- I told him I wouldn’t leave him alone.”

Bruce sighed. Being the bearer of bad news was the worst part of the job. “I can’t promise you that he’ll make it through the night but I can promise you that he won’t be alone. I’ll stay with him.” 

Tony knew that it was all he could do and he nodded, scrubbing a hand over his face. He was so tired. “Okay just-tell him I’m waiting for him. And h-hold his hand for me? It makes him feel safe. He told me once.” 

It was a weak buy for time but he couldn’t help himself. Bruce only nodded and looked to someone behind Tony. “Take him to his room and make sure he sleeps. Get him to eat something if you can.”

Rhodey's hands came around the engineers shoulders and began to lead him away. “I will. Thanks Bruce.” 

Natasha was kneeling in front of May and trying to convince her to accept a spare room as Rhodey pushed Tony past them down the hall. 

“Let’s get you something to eat, okay?” 

Tony didn’t want to eat and although he was more tired than he’d ever felt in his life he didn’t want to sleep. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t allowed to see Peter he didn’t want to leave. 

He dug his heels in and stopped, turning around to get back to his kid. “No, I want to stay. If something goes wrong I need to be there.” 

Rhodey grunted with effort as he grabbed his friend and pulled him back, the two of them wrestling each other in the hall. “Tony, stop!”

“No, I need to be there-“

“Why? Tony, you can’t go in! You can’t do anything right now!”

Tony shoved at him and darted forward but Rhodey was quicker and wrapped his arms around the others waist, dragging him backwards. “Why? Tell me, why!” 

Tony’s arms pushed at his but Rhodey just grabbed them and pressed them against the mans chest, holding him still. Tony’s eyes were glued to the door he knew Peter was being kept behind, and although he couldn’t move his heart still reached out for it. 

“Because,” his voice was failing, choked by his tears that seemed to never pause. “I need to be able to say goodbye if I have to. I need to be able to tell him I love him. I didn’t get to before and it was all I could think about when he was on the street.” 

Rhodey's grip softened as Tony sank into his arms, now hugging more than restraining his friend. Tony’s legs could barely hold him on his feet and his weight threatened to sink them both to the floor but Rhodey held firm, breath still as Tony whispered. 

“What if he doesn’t know?”

Rhodey closed his eyes against the pain of such simple words because he knew the weight behind them. 

He knew that Tony had always been haunted by the words his father had never said to him and that he’d never uttered in return. Just three words that had deprived him of so much and to think that he could have done the same thing to Peter was destroying him. 

He forced his voice to hold steady enough for the both of them. “He knows. I promise you, Tony he knows. And you won’t have to say goodbye.”

He pulled him back and this time Tony let him, stumbling feet following Rhodeys gentle guiding hands to the kitchen. 

He was set down in a chair and had a sandwich pressed into his hand, prodding fingers pushing it towards his mouth. 

“Eat. You’ll feel better.” 

Tony did, though he looked blank and robotic as he did. Rhodey was worried about him but there wasn’t much he could do. He managed to get a glass of water into him without too much complaint before he was gently pulling him from his chair.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

Tony was unsteady on his feet, the exhaustion of the day too much and Rhodey only grew more concerned when he stopped walking. 

“Tony-“

“This one.” 

He was pointing to a door but it wasn’t his. 

“No, your bedrooms-“

“I know. I want this one.” 

Rhodey wasn’t sure what he was thinking but relented and opened the door...and then he understood. 

It was Peter's room, still messy from his frantic rush to get to school that morning. Clothes were flung to the end of his bed, comics and textbooks shoved to the side of his desk to make room for the latest LEGO model he’d been working on with Ned. The room was so alive with bits of Peter that Rhodey could almost feel the air change as they went in. 

Tony made his way to the desk and picked up a framed photo, Rhodey coming up behind him to see it. 

“The science fair at his school.” His voice was rough and thick with emotion. He was going to cry again soon and they both knew it but he pushed on, feeling the need to explain. 

“He’d been so nervous about it. His uncle Ben usually drove him and then took him out for Pizza after. It was sort of a tradition and it was his first time without it. He didn’t even tell me, May did.” 

Rhodey watched his friend smile, wobbly and weak as he sniffed. “So I called all of you guys and we went to see him. You remember?”

Rhodey nodded, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “Yeah. We all put on hats and sunglasses like that would hide us and we all spread out in the crowd to see him win first place.” 

Tony nodded and wiped a hand over his cheek. “He looked so surprised.”

He and May had gone up on stage for his winners photo and Peters smile had been bigger than Tony had ever seen it. He’d been so proud. 

And Peter had kept the photo. His blinding smile squashed on one side where May was kissing his cheek, with Tony on the other side of him, arm slung around his shoulders. 

Tony bit down a sob, chest hurting so badly he pressed a palm to his heart in an attempt to ease the pain. “How does anyone do it? How do they bare to have kids when it hurts this bad?”

“Tony?”

His head turned at the voice, strength crumbling at the sight of Pepper in the doorway. “Pep. Peters-“

She surged towards him and wrapped her arms around him, hand to the back of his head when she felt him shaking. “I know, honey. I know and I’m so, so sorry.” 

Tony held her and just cried. There was nothing else to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meh next chapter will be4 better


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter! I hope you like it also I'm just warning you that I've done some research on it all but I am NOT a doctor so there is going to be a lot of mistakes and inaccuracies so just ignore it please lol

“You did a better job with his arm than I ever could have hoped. His enhanced healing should take care of it in a couple of weeks.”

Dr Strange managed a small smile at the compliment. “It is my speciality. His vitals are concerning, though.” 

Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose and peered at the information displayed on the tablet above Peters bed. “They’ve come up since last night-“

“That’s not what I meant. Look.”

Bruce focused on what Strange was pointing to, scrolling through the heart monitor readouts history and comparing it to Peters brain activity. “These patterns here are indicative of someone in a great deal of pain.”

Bruce’s eyebrows came down over his glasses, worry growing in his stomach as he watched his patient. Peters good hand was twitching where it lay beside him, a frown set firmly on his face.

The poor boy had been squirming even in unconsciousness, small noises and whimpers escaping past the breathing tube taped to his mouth. “He has been moving around a bit.” 

Strange nodded, ever serious and sombre. “The sedatives should be keeping him calm but he’s growing increasingly agitated. That and the fact that he should be breathing on his own by now makes me worry that his-“

Bruce let out a breath, afraid and guilty. “-spines damaged. Shit. Did anyone check?”

Strange lifted a hand to his face, scrubbing his scarred fingers over tired eyes and growing stubble. “I was too preoccupied with his chest and arm. We were so close to losing him that any injury that wasn’t immediately obvious got lost in the chaos.” 

The team of doctors working on Peter was small. They had brought some extra staff in to help but Dr Strange and Bruce were overworked and Helen had been running herself ragged as well. 

Bruce pushed past the guilt making him nauseous and focused on the next step. “I’ll get him into imaging so we can make a clear diagnosis and a plan moving forward.” 

Dr Strange nodded as Bruce unlocked the breaks on Peters bed and he lifted the ventilator and placed it between Peters' knees on the bed. “I’d increase his dose of pain meds before moving him. Even if it means it takes longer for him to wake up, the pain will only slow his recovery time.” 

“You’re right.” Bruce was glad to have Stephen there and he let the Doctor take care of the medication before they moved Peters bed out into the hall. 

As soon as they were past the doors Tony, May and the others all stood, voices overlapping each other in their eagerness for answers. 

“What’s happening! Why are you moving him?”

“I thought you said we could see him.”

“Why’s he still intubated? You said you’d take it out!”

Bruce didn’t have time to be gentle, though he wished he could have. “We need some more scans. I’m sorry, I know I said you could sit with him but there’s been a new development and it can’t wait.” 

Tony reached for the bed rail, Rhodey catching his arm and pulling it back before he could grab it. “Please, just let me-“ 

Bruce turned to the group without stopping, feet quick on the tiled floor. “I'll let you know as soon as we figure out what’s going on. I’m sorry.” 

May sniffled at Tony’s side and Pepper rubbed her arm in comfort but it didn’t stop the blinding panic that encompassed them all. 

Peter had been in and out of surgery, under constant monitoring and through a dozen scans already. They’d been waiting all night and all morning and they still hadn’t gotten a chance to see the kid except in brief flashes in the hallway. 

It was driving them insane just having to wait and Tony didn’t know how much more of it he could take. 

::::::::::

“Definitely thoracic but we won’t be able to determine whether it’s complete or not until we get him awake enough to do a full assessment.” 

Bruce sighed as he looked down at the poor boy. Peter was laying on the table, having just come out of a scan, his blankets bunched up around his chest to cover the brace that was now holding his spine in place. 

He’d saved them all and that was the thanks he was given. Breathing tube taped to the side of his mouth, arm reconstructed and pinned back together; and there was no promise it would ever be the same. 

“The difficulty breathing already indicates the severity of the injury, I think we should start cough therapy before we risk pneumonia.”

Dr Strange swiped through the scans on the tablet, concentration pulling his expression into a frown. 

He was right about the risk for pneumonia but with all the damage to Peters' chest, it would be a rough experience for the kid. Bruce pulled out his penlight and clicked it on, gently lifting one of Peters' eyelids and sweeping the light across. 

“He’s in a lot of pain, I’m not sure I want to put too much strain on his chest while the skin and muscle are still healing.” 

The pupil reacted nicely but what caught Bruce’s attention was the sudden jerk of Peters' head. 

He yanked his hand away and watched the teenager pull his head to the side, a grunt following quickly behind. 

The sound was choked, breathing tube in the way and he jerked his head to the side as much as he could, back trying to rise off the table. 

“Peter? Can you hear me, kiddo?” Bruce kept his voice calm despite the fact that Peter wasn’t expected to wake up just yet. Ahead of the curve as always. 

The question went unanswered save for another grunt, Peters head tipping back, eyebrows furrowed as he weakly tried to pull away from the tube. 

“Okay, buddy just stay nice and still for me if you can.” 

He rubbed his hand in what he hoped were soothing circles on Peters' chest, up near his collarbone where there was less damage. 

“Peter, can you open your eyes for me?”

Strange handed him a syringe and he gave his patient a little top up of morphine. Well, Captain America’s morphine which was about the only drug strong enough for the spider. 

Those hazy eyes opened to half mast, glassy and barely focussed on Bruce’s face but he smiled all the same. 

“There you are. You’re still intubated so don’t try to talk, just squeeze my hand one for yes two for no, okay? Are you in any pain?”

Bruce scooped up the twitching fingers laying on the blanket and rubbed a thumb over the back of the teenager's hand, waiting. Peter blinked at him for a moment, before his good hand gave a gentle squeeze, once then again a little reluctantly later. 

Thanks to the boost of pain meds he probably wasn’t in a lot of pain but a little ache coming through the haze weren’t all that unexpected. 

Bruce nodded, his voice encouraging and slow like he was talking to a toddler. “And do you know who I am?” 

Peters eyes flickered over his face a little more intelligently at that question and squeezed once, fingers tugging at his hand a little and Bruce smiled. 

“That’s right. It’s Bruce. You’re doing great Peter. Just one more question. Do you know where you are?”

Peter watched him, eyes tired but ever trusting. He squeezed twice. 

“That's okay. You’re at the Avengers compound in the medical wing and you’ve been doing great. We’ve been running some more scans so we’ve just done an MRI and it’s time to get you back to bed. I want you to just lay back and let James and Luca do all the heavy lifting okay?”

Bruce reluctantly let go of the boy's hand, watching his tired eyes sweep around the room for whoever the names belonged to. Bruce didn’t want him to be scared and he knew Peter wouldn’t like strangers but he was so badly injured that a larger team was necessary to take care of him. 

Bruce nodded to the two orderlies and stepped back to let them move Peter back to his bed. 

Luca smiled down at the teenager as he and James carefully gripped the edges of the sheet Peter was laying on. “Hi, Peter. It’s nice to finally meet you with your eyes open. James and I are going to be helping to take care of you. Don’t you worry, Happy has put us through the security ringer and we’ve been deemed worthy enough to help you out.” 

Peter blinked up at him and no one was really sure if he was taking any of it in but he was calm and that’s what was important. Luca smiled again, voice overly jovial and kind. 

He moved with practised care, lifting Peters good hand and wrapping those long clumsy fingers around his own thick wrist. “I’m going to put your hand right here and I want you to squeeze if it gets too painful or if something doesn’t feel right. James and I are going to lift you onto your bed so we can get you to your room to see your family, okay?” 

Peter blinked at him, too tired and drugged to even try to nod but Luca didn’t miss a beat. 

“We’re going to lift on three, Peter. Are you ready? One, two, three.” 

Bruce stood close by as the two men lifted the boy and carefully slid him from the MRI table to his bed. And they were as gentle as they could be but with his spinal injury even small movements could set off agonising bouts of pain and Luca quickly cried out. 

“Dr Banner, he needs- ugh-“ his own words cut off as he grunted in pain, trying to pull his hand back from the boy. “He’s crushing my wrist.” 

Peters world had gone from a lazy swirl of colours and sound to a deafening rush of pain. It washed through him, his own heartbeat thundering in his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut as he jerked upwards. 

Bruce bolted forward at the orderlies cry, machines and monitors screaming where they lay in between Peters' knees, ready for transporting him to his room. But it would have to wait because Peter was seizing. 

It wasn’t a typical seizure, it was more of a spasm, caused by pain and the injury to his spinal cord. His back muscles were locking up and his jaw was clenched tight against the pain. 

His good arm jerked upwards, coordination shot as he pawed for the tube choking him. 

The doctor gripped his wrist and rose his voice above the noise, desperation seeping into his words. 

“Petey, buddy, I know it hurts but I need you to let go of the tube!” 

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him but he didn’t have much time and he forced the boy's fingers back and pinned his arm down, James quickly taking hold of it. 

Bruce reached for the boy's jaw, palms sweeping across the locked muscles and gripping under his chin. “Get me a sedative! He’s biting the tube and I can’t-“ 

The tube in Peters' mouth, the one providing him with oxygen, was being crushed between his teeth which meant he couldn’t breathe. 

The readout from the machine dipped, monitors beeping and screaming for attention as Peters back started to rise off the bed and slam back down in weak, desperate thumps.

Strange objected the sedative as Luca thrust a blue and white tangle of plastic into Bruce’s hand. 

The gurgles and gags coming from Peter only made Bruce’s hands move faster as his patient's throat tried to work around the tube, mouth pulling into a grimace. 

He pulled at the boy's mouth, feeling it slacken as the sedative quickly kicked in and sent Peters eyes rolling back into his head.

He pulled his mouth open, fingers moving with precision and grace as he fitted the bite block around the tube and set it between Peters' teeth. 

Bruce sighed in relief as the machines beeping calmed, oxygen flowing once more and he secured the straps around the back of the teenagers head. 

He watched Peters chest rise and fall, hand brushing back the boy's hair as he waited for his own heart to stop pounding. 

He panted, head falling forward in exhaustion. “There we go. We’re okay. You’re okay.” 

He could hear Strange checking on Lucas wrist behind him and he left them to it, choosing instead to focus on the hero in front of him. He leaned down and brushed the back of his fingers against Peters temples, voice hushed and warm. 

“Let’s get you to Tony and May, huh buddy? I think they’ve waited long enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry I know Tony hasn't gotten to see Pete yet but he will in the next chapter. ill most likely be flipping between povs too so it may be choppy as well as the timeline but like who cares lol


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I barely edited this one so im sorry. I got jet lag so writings the only thing I want to do but it's tricky anyway lol thank you so much for the support for this story it makes me so happy that you like it!!!!

Tony wrung his hands to the point of being painful as he paced, anxiety crawling over his skin like a whole colony of ants. He hated waiting and he hated not knowing and if he didn’t get to see Peter soon he would lose it. 

“Tony, take a breath. Come sit down.” 

Rhodey was so patient but it only made Tony’s anxiety rise in him, like an untamable sea and he felt as if he could drown. “Something’s wrong.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

Tony spun on the ball of his foot, switching directions as he paced another length of the hallway. “Yes, I do. They took him for more scans hours ago. If he was fine they would have brought him back but he’s not back and we’re still waiting. I’m sick of waiting.” 

Rhodey reached for his wrist as he marched past him but Tony’s steps stilled for a moment as he heard wheels and footsteps coming towards them. 

“Finally!” He burst forward, running around the corner and sucking in a breath at the sight of Peters bed rolling towards him, care team surrounding him. 

“Bruce! Is he-“

The doctor nodded although Tony hadn’t finished his question. “Let us get him settled and then we’ll talk.” 

Rhodey appeared at his friends side, hand pressed against his waist as he pulled Tony out of their way. The mechanic shook his head, jogging a little to keep up with them. “No, I want to know, now. Why’d you have to take him for more scans? It took ages, he-what is that around his chest? And he’s still not breathing on his own? What is happening?!” 

Rhodeys warm arm wrapped around Tony’s chest and pulled him back, frowning as he placed himself between the two men. 

“Woah, slow down, Tony. Give him a minute; he’s been working on Peter non-stop. I know you’re worried but Bruce is the best and he says we need to be patient. So we’re going to wait out here for a little while so Peter can get settled in his room and then Bruce can explain everything.” 

But he’d already waited. He’d waited for hours, all night and half the day and he couldn’t do it anymore. 

He started to gasp, throat closing and making every breath loud and strangled as his hands began to shake, reaching for the kid. 

“No, please. I can’t do this anymore. I have to know, I have to be with him. Just-“ he was begging, for anything, for a scrap of reassurance because being separated from Peter when he was so badly hurt was physically painful right down to his core and he couldn’t do it anymore. 

He searched for Bruce’s eyes and sucked in rattling breaths between his words. “Please, just tell me he’s going to be okay. What’s wrong with my kid?”

Rhodey's face was awash with sadness, pain felt deep for his struggling friend but Bruce’s was pinched in a myriad of emotions. Grief, pity, guilt. 

Peters bed paused in the hallway and Bruce tilted his head to the side slightly as he nodded. “He’s going to be okay, Tony. You can say a quick hello to Pete and then we’re going to get you some clonazepam and we’ll have our talk. Okay?”

Tony’s chest seemed to swell and he almost sobbed in relief. He was exhausted and in desperate need of that clonazepam but there was nothing that could stop him from getting to Peter. 

Rhodey let him go and Tony almost tripped over himself getting to the boys side. 

His breath hitched as he took in the sight of him, bite block covering half of his face, stiff white plastic bracing him from the top of his chest to his hips. His bad arm had sutures tugging through his skin, purple and black bruises making the limb look grotesque and awful. 

But it was the closed eyes and limp vacancy of the boy that hurt so much. He didn’t look all that different from when he’d laid on the street.

Tony’s hands fluttered over him, unsure of where to touch as he stuttered. “He-oh god, Pete. I don’t want to-“ 

Bruce’s fingers took his own and lead them to the tops of Peters cheeks where a flush of red made them warm and soft. 

“You won’t break him, Tony. He’s okay.” 

A sob rose up his throat that he couldn’t hold back and his vision blurred with tears. “God, kid, I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I should have protected you.” 

He wanted to say those heavy words then, the ‘I love you’ he’d been holding on to but it would only hurt more to say them and know that Peter couldn't hear him. 

Bruce’s hand met his elbow, reminding him he had to go and he quickly wiped his arm over his eyes and brushed his fingers back across the teenagers cheeks. “I’m going to be right out here, okay? I’m just going to talk with Brucie and then I’ll come and sit with you. Be good for the nurses, okay?” 

He scooped up Peters hand and pulled it up, pressing a quick kiss to the back of his bruised knuckles. He’d never been one for gestures like that and just a while ago he never would have dared but now he couldn’t bare the thought of holding back any kind of affection. Because what if he never got the chance? 

Reluctantly he put Peters hand back down and let Rhodey pull him to a seat against the wall. His eyes stayed stuck to the bed as it was wheeled away, doors closing behind it. 

Bruce knelt in front of Tony and pressed a couple of pills into his hand, pushing it towards his mouth as he offered a cup of water. 

He took it and sagged in his seat, hand of pills falling away from his mouth before he could swallow them. “Bruce, I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know you’re doing everything you can, I just-“ 

The doctor shook his head, pushing Tony’s hand back up to his lips. “I know. It’s okay.” 

Tony swallowed the pills back and downed the water, Rhodey's arm around his back as Bruce looked to the second man. 

“Where’s May?” 

“Natasha took her to a room and Peppers working something out with her boss to make sure she gets time off.” 

Bruce nodded and placed two fingers to Tony’s wrist, finding it calm enough for the moment. “Tones, I’m going to explain everything but I need you to keep taking some deep breaths while I do.” 

:::::::

Peters eyes blinked open, pupils dilated, gaze unfocused and glassy as sounds drifted in and out of his awareness. 

“-unfortunately we did find what’s called an extension fracture in the thoracic region of his spine. It means that...” He stopped. He didn’t want to continue. 

“You can say it.” 

“It means that his vertebra was literally pulled apart. He’ll need to stay in the brace for a few weeks and work through physical and occupational therapy.”

Blurry shapes and colours passed across Peter's vision as something squeezed his hand. 

“Jesus. So you’re saying he...will he walk again?”

“...Peters abilities and enhanced healing changes the timeline of his recovery by a large margin but without a full assessment we really can’t determine when or if he’ll make a full recovery.”

“And you need him awake to do a full assessment?” A sigh, and cool fingers against his cheek. 

“His eyes are open.” The words were sad and Peter distantly thought he should feel badly about it.

The other voice came closer, one of the blurry shapes coming to his side. “He’s in too much pain to wake him up fully. Between the braces and the vent I think it’s better if we keep him comfortable so he can rest and get a head start on healing. He’s being given a large dose of a mix of pain meds and sedatives. I know it’s hard to see.” 

“Why can’t you take the tube out? I can barely see him.” A gentle touch swept across Peters cheek and he wanted to lean into it, wanted more.

“Spinal injuries affect breathing and along with the chest wounds and the infection I’m afraid he’s just not strong enough to do it on his own.” 

Another sigh. “Right. The infection. His skins so hot. The poor kids burning up.” 

:::::

Tony dabbed a cool cloth at the teenagers flushed face and down his neck, watching his blank expression sadly. Peters eyes were open but he wasn’t awake, not really. 

Bruce adjusted one of the many IV bags hanging next to Peters bed as he continued to explain. “We’re giving him antibiotics and pain meds which should help but he’s really weak right now, it might be a week before the fever breaks.” 

Tony almost didn’t want to ask. “What if it doesn’t?” 

Bruce looked up from his tablet, gaze sweeping over the still form in the bed. He didn’t even want to entertain the idea but it was a very real possibility. If the infection in his chest got any worse he could very well die and there were simply too many factors to make any concrete promises. 

Not only had the wounds across Peters chest become infected but he was also at a high risk of developing ventilator associated pneumonia. Lying supine, the use of opioids, neuromuscular blockers and lack of mobility all increased the risk of causing a fluid build up in Peters chest that he couldn't move on his own. They were going to have to be very careful with monitoring and try to start on therapies to clear his lungs. 

Because if the fever didn’t break and Peter developed pneumonia...he would die. 

“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” 

Tony was glad for the ‘if’ and not the ‘when’ and nodded. 

Bruce had already explained the damage to Peters arm and chest and had allowed Tony to sit by the kid as he laid out the rest. 

He was going to need time to recover and a lot of therapy and rehabilitation. He wasn’t getting back into his Spider-Man suit anytime soon. 

“He’s going to be so behind in his school work.” 

That was another problem. That and his friend Ned. 

Bruce took a seat and gratefully took one of the coffees Rhodey had brought them. “Is his friend still calling?” 

Tony nodded. The poor boy had seen his best friends apparent death plastered over every screen available and had been calling non stop. 

Happy had played one of the voicemails, begrudgingly at Tony’s insistence but it had been hard to hear. 

The kid had practically been having a panic attack through the phone, words sobbed and breathless. 

“Please, Happy! Tell me if he’s okay! I have to see him! I can’t-! Fuck, I can’t breathe!” His voice had been strangled as he begged once more. “Please, I’m begging you. He’s my best friend. I need to know if he’s-“ 

His cries had broken off when the message timed out and Tony had told Happy to pick up the kid and bring him in. 

He didn’t know what he was going to tell him especially considering he didn’t understand half of what was happening himself but he knew how panicked Ned was feeling and he couldn’t leave him in the dark. 

He’d met the boy in the hallway the next morning, wanting to warn him before going in. Ned looked so young walking down the hall towards him, Happy's encouraging hand on his back and Tony wanted to hug the kid so tight. Thankfully, Ned had the same sort of idea and hurried forward, arms jerking upwards as he started crying again. 

“How is he?” 

Tony pulled the kid in for a hug, feeling him shake against his chest and it only made him miss Peter more. Ned was too scared to hug Tony back with any kind of vigor, his arms were weak and unsure. Peter hugged like he was trying to transfer all his love to you at once, with a big squeeze and his cheek against Tony’s shoulder and the mechanic just wanted to hold him again. 

Ned sniffled against him and Tony pulled himself together, leaning back and holding Ned out at arm's length. 

“I’ll tell you everything if you want to know it but the main thing is that he’s being taken care of and he’s alive. I know this whole thing has been a lot to deal with but I’m going to be honest with you. Peters…” How was he supposed to explain? Peter looked like death. Peter was getting sicker. They didn’t know if he’d make it. 

Ned blinked at him, tears still streaming down his cheeks and Tony almost couldn't hear his own voice. 

“Peters in critical condition right now which means we need to be really careful with him. There are going to be a lot of machines and tubes but they’re all there to help. Look, it's going to be really hard to see him like this so, if you want to back out, if its too much, just say the word and we’ll take a break, okay? It’s alright if you don’t want to see it.”

Ned shook his head and sniffled, rubbing a sleeve over his face. “No, I can do it. I want to be there for him. 

Tony couldn't help but smile at that. Ned still looked nervous, eyes wide and afraid and Tony spared him the embarrassment and offered his hand without looking back at him. 

He held his hand out, eyes focussed forward and felt shaking fingers take his after a moment. Only then did Tony look down at him and offer a smile, leading him into Peter's room. 

Admittedly it was a lot to take in and Tony allowed the kid a moment to process what he was seeing. 

The head of Peters bed was raised a little, his blankets pooled at his waist and revealing not only the square gauze pads taped across his chest but also the brace secured tightly to his lean frame. Monitors stuck to his chest, wrist and temples, tubes all over the place, bruises in plain sight. He was a mess. 

Ned made a small noise at the back of his throat, feet pulling him back out before his hand tugged back on Tony's and he stopped. 

May looked up from where she sat at her nephews side, cold cloth pressed to Peters neck as she tried to cool him down. Her face softened as she saw them standing in the doorway, dropping the cloth on a side table to reach a hand out to Ned. 

“It’s okay, Ned. Come here, honey.” 

Tony didn’t let go of his hand until Ned was in hugging distance of May, the woman wrapping him up in her arms as he cried. 

“I know, baby, I know. Shh, Ned. He’s okay.”

The teenager shook his head against her shoulder and Tony wasn’t sure if he could hold himself together any longer. 

“No, this is bad. This is way worse than last time. They said he was de-dead and I-”

May closed her eyes and pressed her hand to the back of his head, the gesture suddenly making Tony miss his own mother and he clenched his teeth against the thought. 

“He’s right here and he’s going to be fine. Come and sit down. Here, take his hand.”

Ned did as he was told, taking Peters good hand and holding it as carefully as he could. His knuckles were scraped up and bruised but they were the same hands that Ned had known for most of his life and they still looked like Peter. More than the rest of him did. 

“He’s so warm.”

Tony stepped up to the other side of Peters bed, the backs of his fingers running over the boys jaw. “He has a fever.”

Tired eyes flickered open, pupils focussed on nothing but the empty air ahead of him. “His eyes are open again.”

Neds face lit up with hope and Tony hated to be the one to squash it. “So he’s awake? I thought Dr Banner said that wouldn’t happen for a while.” 

Tony tried to ease him into the truth kindly but he knew it was a disappointment. “He’s under some pretty heavy pain meds, so sometimes he’ll open his eyes and blink around but we’re not really sure if he’s retaining anything. He looks a little more aware than usual.” 

It was a weak offer but Ned took it, he’d take anything he could get, and he sat forward in his seat. “Hey, Peter. I really missed you, man. Everything's okay here so, you don’t have to worry. I’ll take care of all the school stuff and MJ and I’ll make sure that everything is ready for you when you get back. So, just...come back, okay?”

Ned knew it was probably his imagination, afterall Tony had just told him that Peter was drugged out of his mind but he swore his best friend squeezed his hand. Just one little curl of his fingers but it made him feel better all the same and wasn’t that just the most Peter thing ever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry more angst. the next chapter is probably just going to be a handful of scenes from peters in between waking moments so idk how thats gonna go


	5. Chapter 5

“So, staggering the halo sessions should help rebuild the muscle and reduce scarring but we’ll need to wait until the infections gone.”

Tony rubbed a tired hand over his forehead as Bruce looked over the newest readouts from Peters monitors. 

“Has his fever gone down at all?”

Bruce adjusted one of the cooling mats he’d laid across Peters tummy and replaced it with a new one as he answered. “Not by much but the antibiotics are working. It should only be a few more days before it breaks.” 

Tony pushed out a breath and tried to make his anxiety go with it. He just wanted his Petey pie back. He didn’t want to wait anymore, he didn’t want to have to replace the cooling mats every hour and watch the orderlies hang bag after bag of saline in an attempt to hydrate the kid and he definitely didn’t want to look at the feeding tube threaded through Peters nose. 

The doctor’s eyes bounced between his patient and his friend, worry seeping into his voice despite himself. He knew Tony didn’t like being handled. “I know you don’t like it, and I get why after your experience with the-” 

Tony cleared his throat as his mind got too loud with his own memories of the intrusive tube and Bruce quickly moved on. 

“But with his metabolism and this fever he’s going to lose weight much faster than anyone else would and we’re already fighting to keep his muscles from atrophying. It can come out as soon as he’s awake and breathing on his own.”

There was no use asking when that would be so Tony just nodded and Bruce finished with his patient and focused on his next one. He was careful with his tone and his words, not wanting to baby Tony but knowing him well enough to thoroughly look him over for signs of sleep deprivation. 

“Did you take your meds today?”

He watched him carefully from his chair, tilting his head to the side as Tony sagged into his own chair, hand reaching over to grip Peters. “Yeah and I’m seeing my therapist tonight.”

The images of Peter lying on the concrete and his nightmares about that day had not faded and he’d learnt by now that it wasn’t healthy dealing with it on his own. Bruce looked pleased and just that made the difficult task of talking about his issues worth it. 

“Good. Okay, I’ll leave you alone now but I’ll be back to check on Peter in an hour.”

He turned to leave but Tony called out to him before he could disappear through the doorway. “Hey, Bruce? No one blames you. You know that right? Friday was the only one who could have detected his heart beat when it was that low.”

Bruce’s face warmed with a small smile but his eyes dipped to the ground and Tony could tell he still hadn’t forgiven himself for almost leaving the spider for dead when he still had a chance of rescue. 

“Thanks, Tones.” 

He let himself out, the door shutting softly behind him and Tony looked over to the still sleeping teenager. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he talks to someone about it but for now let’s see what we can do for you.”

Bruce and the orderlies had been showing him how to take care of Peter and turn him to prevent bed sores and he was glad for something to do to help. 

He hummed to himself as he grabbed some extra pillows and gently rolled Peter onto his side, stuffing a pillow behind his back to hold him up before putting another one between the kids bent knees to keep the skin from rubbing raw. 

Tony didn’t often sing in front of anyone but he didn’t think Peter would mind.

“Close your eyes, have no fear. The monsters gone, he’s on the run and your Daddy’s here.”

He adjusted Peters bad arm on another pillow to keep it raised as he nodded his head along to the music in his head. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”

He draped the cooling mats back over the kids waist and placed another under Peters neck before tucking his blankets back over him. 

“There we go, all comfy.”

After almost losing the kid and having to go through the pain of saying goodbye, the embarrassment for showing affection for the boy seemed trivial. He didn’t let it bother him as he ran a hand through Peters hair, wondering what he might say if he were awake, if he knew everything that Tony hadn’t told him yet. 

“Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer. Everyday in every way it's getting better and better.”

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if he wanted Peter to know. What good could it possibly do? It would only upset him. But he’d find out eventually and seeing it on the news would hurt far worse than it would coming from his mentor. God, how was he going to tell him?

His voice dipped, quieting without him realising it as his thoughts darkened. 

“Beautiful, beautiful…”

“John Lennon?” He hadn’t noticed Pepper coming in until she put her arm around him, but her voice was soft and he found himself smiling, thoughts clearing at her touch. 

“Yeah it might be a bit old for him but I thought ...idk he might just like to hear someone's voice. To make sure he knows hes not alone.” 

She was warm against his side, her fingers intertwining with his free one. “He knows.”

::::

The TV was supposed to serve as background noise so Tony could zone out as he focussed on some paperwork but it was just ramping up his nerves. 

Grainy footage of Spider-man's broken form after the fight and shaky videos of him fighting the aliens took over the screen as the reporter droned on. 

“The brutal battle took place just a week ago and people are still shaken from the event.”

Faces of the public replaced images of the fight as people were interviewed for their opinions on the street.

“You’d think with all the attacks we’ve been through that we’d be used to it but...I think it was the way Spider-Man went down. I don’t know how he survived it. I don’t think I’ll ever get the image out of my head.”

Tony felt the same and clenched his teeth as new voices took over his attention. 

“Where were the Avengers? Why wasn’t anyone here to help Spidey?”

Steve sounded tired even through the TV. He’d been trying to clean up the mess left behind after the fight and that included the press. “We had been called off on another breach, it appears that one was a distraction so that we wouldn’t get back on time to stop them. We are just lucky that Spider-Man was here to protect everyone.”

“Where is he now? Is he still alive? Will he ever come back? He was hurt so badly-”

“He’s alive and recovering but he wants everyone to know that New York will be taken care of while he's away. Natasha and myself will be taking over his patrols until he comes back.”

Tony got up to turn it off. He’d had enough of their nonstop coverage of the event. 

“Miraculously, there was only one casu-”

The newscasters voice cut off and Tony threw the remote down, pressing his fingertips to his eyes until he saw stars. 

He was okay, it would be fine. Peter was getting stronger and his fever was coming close to breaking. He’d wake up soon, they were already reducing his sedatives and he seemed more alert than he had been. 

He sighed and let his hands drop away from his face, blinking until his sight had returned to normal. He needed to sleep. It had been too difficult lately with so much in his head and Tony pushed his paperwork away, trying to do the same with his thoughts. He’d deal with them later. 

Peter shifted in his bed, good hand pawing at his blankets. He was too weak to do much but it pulled Tony’s focus back to him and for that the mechanic was more than grateful. 

“Hey, buddy. Try not to move around too much, okay? You don’t want to use up all your energy at once.”

While Peter was becoming more aware, he was still drugged up to his eyeballs to keep the pain at bay and it wasn’t clear if he was capable of higher thought. He was working mostly with instinct, pulling limbs back that hurt and reaching for things he recognised. Or people he recognised. 

He managed to slip a whimper past the tube still in his throat and Tony quickly took a seat at the edge of his bed. He took hold of Peters wandering hand and squeezed it, thumb sweeping over the back of it soothingly as he cooed. 

“Hey, shh. I’m here. You’re okay.” 

Peters eyes scrunched shut in pain and he tried to arch his back, stopped by his brace and only managing to pull another grunt of discomfort from him. 

Tony tried again, lifting his other hand to Peters cheek and brushing his thumb across the soft rosy skin, trying to get the boys attention. 

“I know, Spider-Baby. I know, it hurts. Just try to focus on me, let me see those eyes, huh?”

Tony wasn’t sure if Peter could understand enough to follow commands and his eyes stayed squeezed shut, tears starting to spill from the corners as his head tossed weakly against his pillow. Whimpers turned to choked almost-sobs and Tony couldn’t stand to see him in pain. 

“Okay, I’ll fix it, kid. Tony’s gonna fix it, just hang on.”

Bruce had set up the button in case the pain ever got too much or Peter got too agitated and became a danger to himself and Tony reached over and pressed it. His hand slid back to Peters cheek as he waited for the boost of morphine to kick in. 

The noises calmed, melting into one last miserable moan as Peters eyes rolled back, medication making him dizzy even laying down. 

“There we go, just relax.” 

His skin was still so warm and Tony couldn't tell if Peters squished cheek suddenly pressing against his palm was from affection or the medication making his head heavy but he smiled either way. 

“I got you something. I thought it might help distract you from all of this but you can’t laugh, okay?”

Tony wasn’t expecting a response but Peters eyelids fluttered open anyway, gaze so unfocused he was practically cross eyed. It was adorable. 

He gently lifted Peters head back up and moved it so he was resting against his pillows before he took his hand away and let go of his fingers. 

“I’m just going to shift you over, alright? And then I can show you your present.”

Peter blinked sleepily, not even looking at Tony as he gripped the sheets and pulled the teenager to the side of the wide hospital bed. He watched Peters face carefully for any signs of pain but it was calm. He took the space on the bed that he’d cleared, wrapping his arm around Peters shoulders and tucking him to his side as much as he could. 

Peter was pliant in his hold and Tony reached over the side of the bed to grab what he’d brought. It was a picture book, made for kids but it was Star Wars themed so Tony was pretty sure Peter would like it. 

“BB8 on the run. Let's hope that a bedtime story helps us both sleep. I think we could use it.”

Tony opened the book and smoothed out the pages, laughing a little at the pictures of the white and orange droid. “He is a cute little guy isn't he? Reminds me of Dum-e.”

The arm around Peter came up to brush at his hair without a single thought, the repeated motion calming them both as he began to read. 

“BB8 wasn’t used to being on his own, and it was scary. Very scary. His friend Poe had told him to run. “Get as far-”

His words cut short as he looked down, two bright brown eyes watching him. They were still hazy but they were more aware than Tony had seen in a while and he smiled, fingers brushing Peters temples. 

“Hey, Petey pie. I missed you.”

Peter watched him for a moment, blinking adorably before he pressed his cheek to Tony's shoulder and focussed back on the book, waiting for his mentor to continue. It was a silent gesture but Peters gentle nuzzling into him felt an awful lot like “I missed you too”. 

Tony’s chest warmed and he closed his eyes for a moment, pressing his cheek to the top of the teenagers head as he soaked in the moment. Peter, safe and warm at his side, his mind finally, finally quiet. 

He didn’t want it to ever end but Peter was waiting and he kissed the crown of his hair before carrying on. They’d be alright. 

““Get as far away as you can.” the Pilot said. I”Il come back for you.””

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this one I tried to make it less angsty and more soft and squishy haha but next chapter will get right back into the angst so
> 
> FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE ALREADY READ THIS I ADDED A LINE! So if you read it and think “I don’t remember that” it’s cause yeah I added it lol it’s in the scene where Tony’s reading to Peter


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having trouble with this one and then boom it happened it clicked and now I'm excited again.

“Hows my favorite patient doing today?” Bruce was cheerful, his work a lot easier now that the young spider was coming out of the woods. 

Tony wished he could feel as confident. He wished he knew what all the numbers and lines on the monitors meant. “He’s been moving around a lot more but I think it's because of the pain.”

Bruce looked over the readouts from the screens, hands already pulling his stethoscope from his neck as he hummed. “His O2 stats are a little low. Let’s how those lungs are doing, shall we?”

Peter was still sleeping, having dozed off during their story last night and Tony could at least be comforted by the happy squiggling brain waves telling him the boy was dreaming. He hoped it was something nice. 

“How much longer does he have to have it in for? The breathing tube, I mean.”

Bruce thought about it as he pressed the end of his stethoscope to Peters chest, shifting it around as he listened. “At the moment it looks like it’s going to be staying for about another week. Just because we have him under such heavy medications that it can make it more difficult for him and he’s already having trouble breathing because of the spinal injury. But that estimate could come down once we get him awake and moving around a little more. I won’t keep it in any longer than I have to.”

He frowned, still listening to Peters lungs as he watched the monitors and he finally pulled his stethoscope away and looped it back around his neck. 

“I’m going to do a bit of suctioning to try and clear his airway a bit. It should bring his O2 back up and make it easier on him; make him a little more comfortable. You might not want to be in here while we do.”

Tony didn’t want to go, of course he didn’t but he really didn’t want to know what it meant to suction Peters airways and it's not like the kid was awake anyway. 

“Fine. I’m going to shower and take care of a few things but I’ll be back. Friday, keep me up to date.”

“You got it, boss.”

Saying he was leaving was one thing but actually doing it was another. Sure, his feet moved one after the other, and yes he got himself through the doorway but his heart felt like it had dropped from his chest before he’d crossed the threshold and he wanted so badly to go back for it. 

What if Peter knew he’d left? What if something happened? 

Tony shook his head and forced his feet to keep moving. If he gave in and went back now he’d never hear the end of it from Bruce and just about everyone else. He needed a break.

A shower had been a good idea but his feet carried him in another direction and he found himself in Peppers office, forgoing any of his usual flirting and just walking in. 

She looked up from her paperwork, turning where she sat on the edge of her desk, surprised to see him there, striding towards her. “Oh, Tony, honey. Is everything okay? I thought you’d still be with Pet- Oh.” 

He’d walked in and just plonked himself on her chair, immediately flopping forward and pressing his face to her chest. Her hands came up and held him, just like he knew they would and he breathed in the scent of her. 

“Tony? You need to talk to me. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk. All he really wanted was for someone to do all the worrying and caring for him. It was exhausting. He didn’t want to have to be scared or stressed or anxious. He didn’t want to have to sit there and wait for the kid to wake up. He wanted everything to be easy, he wanted Peter awake. He wanted a goddamn nap and snuggle with the hottest woman on the planet. 

He shook his head against her, head heavy and Pepper, like always, understood. She massaged her fingers into his hair and laid a kiss on top of his head. “You want to go to bed?”

He sighed then, a happy one for once and lifted his eyes to hers, a small smile on his lips. “Please.”

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The light hurt his eyes. Blink. There was something in his mouth. It tasted awful. Blink. 

“-oing, Ned? How was school?” Memories flickered at the voice. Red and blue. Something crashing into his face and sending him skidding across the tarmac. But that had been a while ago. Hadn’t it?

“It’s hard to concentrate without Peter there and I can tell MJ really misses him. I just wish she could come see him or at least know what happened.” That voice triggered other memories, better ones. Bunk beds, the taste of nacho cheese, the sharp corners of little bricks pressing against his fingers. What were they called again?

“Maybe it’s for the best that she doesnt know. It’s nicer to think he’s on vacation, right?”

Red and blue. His voice was nice. 

“I guess. It’s a lot better than watching him stare at the wall. It’s like he’s not even there.”

Blink. Tap, tap. Something was knocking against his forehead. 

Peter's face pulled downwards. Wait, not his whole face. What were they called again? Those things on his face that moved sometimes but never one at a time like he wanted. Like MJ could do. MJ? Peter liked that thought. 

Tap, tap. “Stop frowning and just look at me.”

Blink. Nacho cheese. That wasn’t his name. The sad looking face in front of him was...it was a nice face, Peter liked it. But the name was far too floaty to catch onto. Peter left it to drag along the ground beside his runaway train of thought. Hopefully he’d catch it soon. Did he need a ticket to catch the train? or ...wait, no it was a different kind of train. Thinking was so hard.

“Dude, seriously. Give me something.”

Some thoughts were easy and others were impossible. What was that nice thought from before? 

“Peter, look at me.” 

Maybe if Ned left him alone for a little bit- oh. That’s a nice thought too. Peter blinked again and found him. Ned! 

He looked a little happier now and a sound bubbled out of him. “I think he’s smiling a little. Or, you know, trying to. Hey, buddy! Can you actually see me? Are you there?”

Ned! Ned was awesome! Something flopped on the blanket, it was so distracting. 

Ned laughed again and grabbed whatever it was and lifted it into Peter's vision. It was a hand. Oh, it was his hand. 

“Dude! You have no idea how happy I am to see you!” 

The happy look went away and he looked sad, he was crying. Peter pulled on his hand. Make the smile come back, the smile was nice. 

“Peter, you...You have no idea how shitty its been without you.”

“Hey, take it easy with the language, son.”

Ned wiped his eyes, squeezing Peters hand again. Peter wanted to help. What was he supposed to do? 

“Sorry. I’m just really glad he’s okay.” 

“We all are. Believe me.” 

Peter watched Ned sniff and take a breath. He looked a little better. Blink. What was he thinking about? Blink. 

“-so I think once you’re strong enough to get out of bed you should take some vacation photos. Just so everyone believes the story. You think if we ask Mr Stark he’d fly you to hawaii or something? Maybe I could come. That would be cool.”

Ned looked at him and tilted his head to the side, mouth pulled up at one edge. It looked nice like that. “Hey, you back again? You kind of drifted off for a while. I mean, you’re eyes were still open but you weren’t there, really. It’s okay, Dr Banner said they’re reducing your sedation a little so you’ll wake up for real soon. Then we can play as many video games as you want while you heal.”

Blink. Peter was tired. Eyes heavy. Someone was missing. 

Ned’s eyes swept back and forth across his face, like he was worried about something. Was something wrong? 

“You’re frowning again. Is it the pain? I can get Dr Banner in here to check on you if you want and Mr Stark said he’d be back soon.”

That last name sparked a memory. Just one. 

“I love you, Petey. I should have told you before but- I love...loved you more than anything.”

That was important. He should hold onto that one. 

“Peter? You getting tired? It’s okay, you sleep. I’ll come back and visit tomorrow after school.”

He had to hold on to...to…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I got a promotion at work yay I'm now shift manager so thats awesome but whats more awesome is that I saw far from home twice already and omg what the fuck are we going to do
> 
> also I hope you liked this chapter ha


	7. Chapter 7

God his head hurt. It pounded. It spun and swam and if it didn’t stop Peter was going to throw it out the window. Who needed a head anyway?

“-on’t expect him to wake up all at once, it might take a little while and he’s probably going to feel pretty shitty. Just give him time and let him wake up when he’s ready.”

God, please stop talking. Too loud. 

“Thank you, Bruce. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it...Oh, if he needs it there's the pain pump for more meds. Because of his metabolism the limit is pretty high so make sure he only pushes it once when he needs it. If he keeps pushing it he’ll end up sedating himself. He can if it gets too bad but I’m hoping it won’t be necessary.”

“No problem. I’ll call if we need anything.”

Pain pump? Shit, the last time he’d been given that he’d broken his leg so bad they were worried he might lose it. He still had the faint scar from the surgery behind his knee, the only one that hadn’t gone away for some reason. 

What had happened this time?

Footsteps exploded in Peters ears and he let out a grunt of pain, head rolling away from the noise. Could someone please turn it down?

“Pete?”

Oh god, the spinning in his head got worse at the voice, memories crashing into each other like colliding fireworks in his brain. He couldn't think, couldn’t-

Aliens dropping down from the sky, swarming the streets as people ran, screaming. He’d called for help and the voice in his room had answered. 

“We’re coming! Peter, we’ll get there as soon as we can! Be careful!” 

“I don’t know if I can take them all on my own Mr Stark.”

“You can do it, I know you can, Spiderman. Just hold on till we get there.”

Peter had swung his fist towards one, only to have his hand caught in a solid grip, his arm twisted sideways until he felt it snap, ligaments tearing in half as he screamed his throat raw. 

“Peter?!”

The teenagers eyes snapped open, heart monitor squealing as his heart beat too hard in his chest. It hurt, every part of him hurt but now that he remembered he needed to know.

“There you are! Look at me, kid.”

Mr Stark? Peter turned his head, grunting as something pulled at his face, tugging his nose and mouth and making him gag a little. What was that?

“Try not to move, okay? Just focus on Tony, kiddo. You remember Tony? Look at me.”

Of course he remembered. How long had he been out? Where was he?

His eyes burned and he could hear little grunts and moans slipping from his mouth. His mouth, something was in his mouth. He still hadn’t managed to find Mr Stark even after blinking the blurriness away. 

A warm, rough palm pressed against his neck, fingers turning his chin until Mr Starks worried smile was all he could see. Finally. 

“Finally. Hey Petey. It’s good to see you.” He looked tired, his usually nice clothes replaced with soft sweats and a beard that hadn’t been tended to in some time. 

Peter reached for him, hands jerking towards his mentor, one arm slower than the other as one palm slapped up on Tony’s chest, grabbing at him as he tried to speak. 

The only sounds he managed to make were choking groans around whatever it was that was in his mouth. Shit, he’d felt that before. 

“They’ve got you intubated, kiddo. No talking just yet, okay? But you want to tell me something?”

Peter nodded, fingers curling in Tony’s shirt as he fought to relax his throat around the tube. He gagged again and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to focus. 

“Hey, sh sh sh, calm down. What's wrong? Are you hurting?”

Peter shook his head before freezing again at the tugging in his nose and Tony’s fingers were back on his face, brushing at his cheekbones. 

“Try to stay still, Pete. They’ve got a million things in you trying to keep everything together. Just breathe for a minute, or let...the machine do it. You know what I mean. Just take a moment.”

Peter pressed his hand harder to Tony's chest, his mentors heartbeat thrumming against his knuckles until finally he could relax. At least physically. 

Opening his eyes again revealed Tony’s attentive gaze, flickering from Peters monitors back to his eyes. 

“Here, you can use this. Do you remember what happened?” His tone was guarded. He didn’t want to set Peter off panicking, or reveal too much if he didn’t remember but Peter just nodded as he clumsily took the offered tablet. 

The screen was open to a notepad app and Peter dragged his sleepy, stiff fingers across it until he managed to write the shaky words he needed. 

‘Is everyone safe’

He finished, feeling tired already and shoved the tablet towards Tony, watching the sad smile lift his mouth. 

“Yeah buddy, everyones safe.”

Peter swore his heart beat harder at the way Tony’s eyes avoided his. He was lying. 

He reached forward again, grabbing his mentors arm and tugging, demanding the truth. 

Tony shook his head, looking more tired than before. “Peter, dont-”

Peter shook his head back and grabbed the tablet, writing more shaky letters beside the others. ‘How many’

Tony looked him in the eye for a few seconds before rubbing a hand over his forehead and leaned back in his seat. 

“I’m not doing this with you, Peter. You need to be resting. You just woke up and you’re already arguing with me-”

Peter tapped the screen, eyes adamantly holding Tony's gaze. 

“It wasn't on you.” An excuse. Peter had been the one protecting the city. He’d been the one keeping the aliens back. If even one had managed to get past and hurt someone that was on him. 

Tap.

“Peter-”

Peter smacked his palm down on the screen, eyebrows pinching as his eyes pricked with tears. He had to know. 

Tony held his gaze, looking pained in the trap he’d found himself in. He finally sighed, gaze shifting from pity into apology. 

“Just one.”

Peters face crumpled, tears running down his skin and getting caught in the bite block strapped across his cheeks. Someone had died. And he hadn’t stopped it. 

Tony’s voice was shaky as he carried on, hand reaching for the teenagers, sweeping circles over the back of his hand when he’d caught it. 

“You'd taken out every alien but one and you only had one arm left to use after you’d...after the other one was shattered. But it got you with its claws and threw you. And you didn't get back up. A police officer saw you go down and tried to stop the last alien by herself. It charged her just as she got off a clean shot at its head. She took it down but she didn’t make it.”

Peter gripped his sheets as he cried, his whole body trembling and Tony leaned forward to press his palm to the underside of Peters jaw. 

“Hey, Peter. Look at me.” 

Peter blinked up at the ceiling, feeling tears drip from his lashes before he looked back at Tony. 

“Both of you made a choice on that bridge to put yourselves on the line to protect others. You both got up that morning and out on your uniforms, ready to be a hero. It wasnt on you, Pete. She made a choice, just like you did.”

Peter blinked hard, rolling his head across his pillow in an exhausted shake. Tony knew without words what he meant. 

‘I should have saved her. I should have held out.’

He tried again, thumb sweeping under the teenagers eyes to catch the tears still falling. “There wasn’t anything you could have done.”

Peter shook his head again, fist thumping against the mattes stubbornly and Tony hated what he was going to do. But Peter needed to know that it wasn’t his fault. 

“Pete, kiddo I need you to listen to me, okay? You- you were declared dead at the scene.” 

Peters crying quieted as his eyes widened a little, gaze bouncing between Tony’s eyes.“You were too badly hurt and your vitals were so low that they couldn’t be detected. Steve f-” 

It was still painful to talk about, despite the time that had passed and Tony ignored the wobble in his voice and the tears in his eyes as he pressed on. 

“Steve found you and called for help but it was too late. I listened to Bruce call your time of death and watched as someone covered your- covered your body with a sheet. I thought you were dead, Petey. And I couldn't stop it. So, you don't have to be sorry. Because I'm sorry. You should never have been alone. I should have been there. And you did everything that you could, you saved everyone.”

Peter choked on another sob, eyes squeezing shut as tears spilled down his temples into his hair. And even without words Tony knew what he was saying. ‘Not her.’

Tony tilted his head as he wiped at Peters eyes, ignoring his own. “There wasn't anything more you could have done. You fought till the very end. You did good Spider-man.” He smiled watery and shaky, meaning very word he said. “I’m so proud of you.”

Peter continued to sob, feet kicking weakly under his blankets at the pain tearing up his chest and Tony leaned forward to press his temple to Peters, bushing the kids hair back as he tried to settle him. 

“It’s okay, Pete. We can talk more about it later. You’ll be okay.”

Peters good hand came up to grip Tony’s arm, grabbing at him like he was afraid he’d leave. 

“I’m just going to get you the pain pump so you can have another boost, okay? It might put you out but don’t fight it. I’ll stay with you until you wake up.”

Peter shook his head as much as he could, gripping onto Tony tighter, hand desperately pulling at him, begging him not to make him sleep. But the pain was too much for him and Tony couldn't sit there and watch him suffer. 

He pulled back and tugged Peters hand away from his shirt and pressed the button into his palm. “Peter, you need to be the one to do it. I won’t make you press it if you really don’t want to but I’m not leaving, kid. I promise, I’m not leaving you. But you need to rest.”

But Peters eyes, they were so wide and full of fear, tears streaming down his face as his hand pushed the pump away and reached desperately for Tony. It was breaking his heart. 

He sighed and took a seat on the edge of the boys bed, holding Peters hand tight while he stroked his hair back. “You don’t have to be scared, Buddy. I got you.”

The pain was only getting worse as Peter got worked up and his bad arm started twitching, trying to pull to his chest, to stop the pain. Tony needed to calm him down without the drugs but he could only think of one thing. 

“Okay, Petey, just listen to my voice, okay? I can’t believe I’m doing this. Don’t tell anyone alright?”

In truth he’d do anything for Peter, anxiety or embarrassment be damned. 

“Close your eyes, have no fear. The monsters gone, he’s on the run and your dad is here.” 

Peter quietened down at his voice, eyes glued to his as he whimpered past the tube. 

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”

He whispered between sung verses as Peter watched him. “Just relax, buddy.”  
“Out on the ocean sailing away, I can hardly wait to see you come of age, but I guess we'll both just have to be patient. 'Cause it's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe. Yes, it's a long way to go but in the meantime before you cross the street take my hand.”  
Peter had finally exhausted himself and now without blinding fear to keep him awake he was losing the fight with his drooping eyelids. 

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, sleepy boy.” Tony’s voice was amused and his smile helped ease the last of the teenagers worry. 

“You go to sleep, buddy. I’ll be here when you wake up. And everything will be okay.”

::::::::::::::::::::

Bruce smiled as he tugged Peters gown down to his waist, pressing the head of his stethoscope to the boys chest. “It should all go pretty smoothly, I don’t expect any complications. You’re lungs are sounding great, Peter. We’ll get that tube out in just a moment.”

Tony had been so excited for Peters extubation, everyone had been, but Peter didn’t look happy with the idea at all. His huge brown eyes were begging Tony to save him, good hand reaching out to pull at his mentors sleeve. 

“Hey, what are you scared of, huh? It’s Bruce, you love Bruce. It’s going to be fine.”

Bruce pulled his stethoscope away and went to wash his hands and ready his equipment but Peter was shaking his head, little whimpers escaping out the side of his mouth. 

Tony scooted closer, taking the boys hand in his and holding tight. “What? You don’t want it out, now? Peter, it’s okay to be scared but there's no need to be. You’re going to do great just like you do with everything else.”

Peters whimpers turned into half sobs and he kicked his feet under his blankets, making the bed shake. He was pulling again at Tony's hand and the mechanic got the hint, taking a seat on the edge of the bed so he could hug Peter. 

“Hey, hey, you’re alright, Pete. I’m going to be here the whole time, okay? I’m not leaving. I got you.”

Bruce watched Peter grip Tony as tight as he could, hand shaking where he gripped him. “I can give you a sedative to help calm you down a little bit, if you want? It might make this whole thing easier.”

Tony pulled back and wiped Peters face, holding his hand again and squeezing tight as he offered Peter a smile. “How about that, kiddo? You want Brucie to give you something?”

Peter shook his head and tugged on Tony again, feet kicking and his intention clear. Tony laughed a little as he brushed Peters hair back on his forehead. “I’m here. You got me.”

Bruce nodded and moved forward to begin. “Okay, Pete. We’ll go nice and slow while we do this. All I need from you is a deep breath in and a long breath out when I say so, you ready?”

He removed the tube connecting Peter to the respirator, leaving just the tube coming from his mouth. 

“You’re doing great, Pete.” 

Tony smiled encouragingly as he watched Bruce take the end, rubbing the back of Peters hand to distract him from what was coming. 

“Okay, take that big breath now.”

Peter squeezed Tony’s hand hard. 

“And out.”

One breath out and the tube was pulled from his throat, mucus coming with it and he choked before Bruce shoved something else in his mouth, something loud that he didn’t like. 

“I’m just getting rid of that for you, buddy. You keep holding Tony’s hand and breathe for me.”

The thing in his mouth was gone after a moment and his chest ached but he was breathing, finally on his own. 

“Hey, there’s my man. There you go, Pete. I told you you’d do great.”

Bruce undid his bite block and took that away too and for the first time in much too long Tony could see Peters whole face. His eyes pricked with tears that he couldn't hold back and he smiled through them, pressing his palm to the boys cheek. “I missed you, kiddo.”

It was very tiring breathing on your own after a machine had been doing all the work and Peter was doing his best to keep his chest expanding as it should. But Tony’s presence eased the anxiety inside him and he found himself smiling despite the pain. He leaned into his mentors touch and forced his raspy, weak voice to work. 

“Mi...missed...you too.”

Tony looked so happy at just those three words and Peter laughed, though it was whispy and small, as Tony leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He may have a long recovery to go but in that moment everything was right again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait works been crazy lol thats always my excuse but like what up

The happiness brought about by Peter’s extubation was a bright but fickle flame and with Peter’s new level of consciousness brought pain along with it. 

“I don’t want it.”

Each breath looked like it took so much effort and one of the machines was beeping again. Why couldn't anything just be easy?

Peter took a break in between his words to pull in a breath and just watching it made Tony feel as if he were suffocating. He couldn’t imagine what it was like for Peter. 

“I don’t wa...want it on my...face. Can’t I have the-” He didn’t finish his sentence, choosing instead to gesture towards his nose to indicate what he wanted. 

Bruce looked apologetic as he offered the oxygen mask once more. “You can’t use a nasal cannula until we have your NG tube out and we won’t be talking about removing that until after lunch. Peter, I know it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world but we really need to be keeping your O2 stats up so I’m going to need you to keep this on.”

Peter didn’t look happy about it but he let Bruce put the mask on him, sliding the strap behind his head before excusing himself to grab his notes. 

“May’s at work this morning but she’ll be thrilled to hear you talking again and- oh, I’ll call Ned and have Happy pick him up after school. He’s been coming to visit, he was actually here when you first started waking up properly so...Pete?” Tony cut himself off mid ramble as the teenager made soft noises of pain from under his mask. 

He was shifting in his bed, good hand coming up to pull at his brace where it crossed over his chest. “What is this? Mr. Stark, get it off.”

His words were strained, each breath coming as a wheeze and Tony knew enough about panic attacks to recognise when one was coming. It didn’t help that he was already having trouble breathing. The poor kid couldn’t catch a break.

Peter whimpered, working himself up as he pulled at his brace, trying to get it off. Tony reached for him, doing his best to soothe him while dreading the coming conversation. 

“No, don’t touch that, Pete. You need to keep it on.”

Peter was clearly uncomfortable and still having trouble breathing, whimpers broken in half by gasps and shallow drags of breath. His mouth and throat were getting used to speaking again, warming up a little with each word, which only made his aching words harder for Tony to hear.

“Why? What is it? What's wrong with me?”

Tony didn’t know how to explain everything and he settled for platitudes as he caught Peter’s hand and pulled it back down to his lap. “Bruce can explain soon, you just need to focus on breathing, okay? Everythings alright, just breathe, Pete.”

He tried, Peter pushed back against his pillows as he fought for a decent breath but the brace was pressing against his sensitive skin and he wanted it off. “I can’t. This thing is squeezing me.”

“No, it's not. You’re okay.”

He was only growing more panicked and Tony watched as his bad arm jerked, trying to reach the brace with no coordination or strength. 

“I can’t breathe and my arms not...its not working, Mr. Stark. Why isn’t it working?”

 

Tony pushed the call button and leaned forward, pressing his palms to Peter’s cheeks. “Hey, I’ll tell you but I need you to just breathe for me, okay? Take a deep breath, you’re alright.”

Peter took as deep a breath as he could manage, eyes glued to Tony’s, stuck on his gaze where everything was right and nothing hurt. His thumbs swept across Peter’s cheekbones, brushing his tears away and soothing his heart beat to a more acceptable rhythm. 

“Good, that's it. Just keep breathing. Do you remember what happened? Do you remember what I told you?”

Peter nodded, hand gripping Tony’s hoodie at his mentors stomach, just needing to be able to make sure he wasn’t going to leave. 

“I got hurt.”

Tony nodded, eyebrows coming downwards in sympathy, his voice gentle and quiet. 

“Yeah, bud. You got hurt real bad and you’ve been getting better but it’s going to take some time before you’re all healed up.”

Peter sniffed, chest still aching with every breath. “How long was I asleep?”

Tony didn’t want to tell him. Peter could tell by the way the corner of his mouth curved downward and his lips pressed together. His voice was really quiet. “Two weeks.”

“What?” Peters world swirled and the panic came back. His back hurt and his chest was too sore to move and he didn’t want to be awake anymore. He started crying again, tears hot on his cheeks and this time Tony’s fingers didn’t move to catch them, staying still as the warm drops ran over his thumbs. 

His voice was quiet too. Scared. “What’s wrong with me?”

Tony looked into Peter's eyes and saw the fear and the trust that laid there, fear for the future and the trust that Tony could and would fix everything. He wouldn't let him down. 

He clenched his jaw and relaxed his gaze, working to break the news as gentle as he could. 

“When your arm was broken the nerves and muscles were torn. Dr. Strange took hours to put them all back together and he said with some work you could regain use of it again.”

Peter sniffled and wrapped his fingers around the brace where it lay across his chest. “Why do I have this on? Why can’t I breathe?”

Tony rubbed a gentle palm over Peter’s collarbone as he spoke, slow smooth strokes that the teenager could match his breaths to. “The vertebra in your spine were damaged and this brace is going to help them heal. Bruce can explain everything in more detail but he said that breathing issues are really common in spinal injuries. I know it's scary but everythings going to be okay. We have a treatment plan and you can take as long as you need to get better, okay?”

Peter’s bottom lip wobbled as he searched Tony’s eyes. He was scared and in pain and his anxiety was too loud to block out but Tony’s gaze never wavered and he nodded, working to slow his breathing down. 

“I’m gonna be okay?” His voice was quiet and so childlike Tony felt his chest tighten with the realisation that he would do anything in the world this kid asked. Anything. “I promise, Pete.”

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was dark and Peter didn’t know where he was. 

He was cold and his skin felt like it was torn open, exposing his nerves to the air. God, it burned. 

“If anyone in this shitty fucking universe is listening, I’m begging you. I know I don’t deserve it, I know I’ve been the worst kind of disease on this planet but please, for his sake…”

The voice...Tony. 

“Don’t take him from me.”

Why would anyone want to take him away? Why was Mr. Stark so sad? 

“Tony, you need to move back. Bruce needs room.”

Cold, shaking hands met his face, thumb tracing a line across his cheekbone and lingering there. “You hang on for me okay, kiddo? I’ll be waiting.”

Waiting for what? 

“Peter?”

Peter snapped awake with a gasp, startling Tony where he sat at Peter’s side. “Hey, you’re okay.”

He was in the medbay, Tony there, palm pressed to his cheek and thumb swiping across his overly warm skin. 

“You were talking in your sleep, kid. You kept calling for me.”

Peter blinked up at him, confused as he tried to orientate himself in the present rather than that...dream? But was it a dream or was it a memory? It had felt so real. 

Tony’s eyebrows creased and he pulled his hand away. “What were you dreaming about?”

Peter blinked, settling himself back into the present where he was suddenly feeling very very sick. 

“M-Mr Stark? I’m...I think I’m gonna-” He gagged, stomach squeezing as he tried to sit up and Tony jerked forward as he realised. 

“Oh, shit, hang on.”

Firm hands pulled him up and leaned him forward, cool fingers massaging the back of his neck as his oxygen mask was pulled down to his neck. A bag was thrust over his mouth and nose in its place just in time to catch the little that Peter managed to bring up, coughing as the smell assaulted his delicate senses. 

“Okay, okay there you go. Just let it happen. You’re okay.”

Peter could barely hear what Tony was saying but the sound of his voice and the soothing hand rubbing over his back was enough. 

“Friday, get Bruce in here.”

“Right away, Boss.”

Peter reached blindly for his mentor, Tony quickly sitting with him on the bed and holding him up against his side as he held the kid through another heave.

“What have you got to bring up? You haven't eaten since before you were brought in.”

Peter moaned through another gag, miserable and Tony shook his head, focusing back on the task he was supposed to be doing. “Right. Not helpful. Sorry kid, it should stop soon.”

Peter could do nothing but groan as he leaned over, mouth open and panting as Tony brushed his hair back. He felt awful, whole body shaking as he leaned against his mentor. 

Footsteps came tapping towards them and Peter gagged again, retching into the bag as Bruce entered. 

“Aw, Pete. What's happened, buddy?”

The doctor snapped some gloves on, the fresh sting of antiseptic in the air at least helping to clear the acidic smell from Peter’s nose a little. 

Peter swayed as Tony’s hand rubbed across his back, too nauseous to hold back the wave of tears that took him over. He cried, quiet miserable hiccups, too sick to feel embarrassed about them. 

Tony answered, hand gently tucking the boys NG tube back behind his ear. “He woke up and just started hurling. It’s okay, Pete.”

Bruce checked a couple of monitors before taking the used bag and disposing of it, giving another to Tony to hold on to. 

“It might be the medication, we can see about adding antiemetics.” 

He grabbed a cloth and handed it to the mechanic as he went about calculating dosages. 

“Try to breathe, Petey. I know it’s not nice.”

He moved as gently as he could, swiping the cool cloth over Peter’s mouth and chin before flipping it to a clean side and pressing it to the kid’s sweat swathed forehead. 

“It’ll pass.”

Peter gave a very slow and careful shake of his head. “I hate it.”

Tony sighed. It wasn’t fair. Couldn't the kid just have a smooth recovery? Couldn't something be easy for once?

“I know, kiddo. I’m sorry.” He pressed a quick kiss to Peter’s temple, wishing he could make it better but not knowing how. 

Peter only whimpered and leaned into Tony’s touch, laying his head on the man's shoulder as Tony hugged him. 

“Peter?” Bruce came back and injected something into Peter's IV, eyes kind and patient as always. “Do you know what brought this on? Have you been experiencing any other symptoms?”

The teenager felt the corners of his mouth pull down and he tried to hold back his tears before he could start bawling again. He only managed one word. “Dizzy.”

Bruce nodded, sympathetic as he explained. “That’s probably the morphines fault.”

Peter let out a whine as he pressed his face to Tony’s neck, nausea slowly abating. “I don’t want it.”

Tony emptied his hands and hugged the boy back as tightly and as safely he could manage, his cheek pressing to those soft curls. “I know.”

Peter’s hand came up to rub his eyes, taking a pit stop at his nose to curl his fingers around the tubing there. “I don’t want this, neither.”

Tony’s hand snapped up and grabbed the boys wrist before he could pull anything, working to keep his voice calm through his own mild panic. “Don’t touch that, buddy. I know you don’t like it but it’s the only way Bruce can get any food into you.”

He carefully unwrapped Peter’s fingers from the tube, Bruce’s own hands coming forward to help pull Peter’s hand away. “When can you take it out?”

The doctor met Tony’s eyes at the whined plea from the teenager, the two of them wary of what Peter’s reaction might be. 

“Tonight, maybe. But I need to be sure you’re eating before I remove it.”

Peter squirmed in Tony’s hold, the mechanics wide palm wrapped around Peter’s wrist in case he went for the tube again. “I don’t want to eat. I’m just gonna throw up again.”

Bruce hated seeing the kid in discomfort but there wasn’t much he could do. “You need to get nutrients somehow.”

Peter was growing restless, bad hand twitching at his side as he pulled at his good one still in Tony's hold. “I don’t care. I don’t want the stupid tube and I don’t want anymore morphine and I don’t want this fucking brace on!”

The anxiety had been building, gathering and swelling like the sea pulling outwards before a tsunami. And now the wave was crashing down and Peter couldn't hold it back.

Peter pulled away from Tony and started pulling his blankets off, trying to get his clumsy, weak legs over the side of his bed. 

“Peter, stop! What are you doing?”

Tony tried to stop him, standing rom the bed and moving to the other side where Peter was putting his feet on the floor. Bruce was already in front of the teenager, trying to push him back into bed but Peter wasn’t having it. 

“I don’t want to be here! I don’t want to sit in this bed anymore! I want to go home!”

He reached up and grabbed the monitors over his chest, tearing them off and flinging them to the floor before going for his blood pressure cuff and doing the same. 

“Peter, you’re not ready to be on your feet yet! Lay back down!”

Peter was most definitely not ready to be on his feet yet but it had all become too much and he couldn’t do it anymore. He was done with the pain and the million different things attached to him and he was done with the constant prodding and poking and careful looks. He was done. 

“No! You can’t make me stay here!” He grunted, still sitting on the edge of the bed as he gripped his brace and snapped the piece across his chest. Bruce sucked in a shocked breath, grabbing a sedative that he hoped he wouldn't have to use. 

“Peter, stop!”

Tony didn’t have any other options. Peter was out of control and if he didn’t stop he’d get hurt. “Steve!”

It only took a few moments before the super soldier ran in, thankfully close by and took in the scene. Peter was cornered by the two men, legs shaking as he fought to get off the bed. 

He found Tony's eyes, panicked and afraid and moved forward. Peter saw him coming and thrust an arm out, trying to fight him off even as his hand trembled. 

“Leave me alone!” 

He looked terrified and fragile and Tony suddenly didn’t want anyone to touch him. But he stayed quiet as Steve approached, hands raised and eyes filled with a dozen different apologies.

“Peter, I need you to take a breath and sit back down.” 

Peter shook his head, tears leaving twin trails down his face. “Don’t touch me.” 

He pushed off the bed, ready to stand on his, definitely not strong enough, legs and Steve jolted forward. He swept Peter’s feet back up into the bed in one move and held them there, other hand pressing on Peters chest to lay him back down as the boy cried. 

“Stay still, Pete. You’ll be okay.” 

Peter may have been healing but he was still strong and he shoved Steve back with his good hand, hard enough that the super soldier skidded a few meters away from the bed. 

Bruce moved forward, needle at the ready but Tony couldn’t let anything else happen to Peter. 

“Stop!” 

He threw a hand towards Bruce, making the doctor stop in his tracks while Peter got himself to the edge of his bed once more, arms almost too weak to sit himself up. 

Tony was fast but Peter was faster, feet touching the floor before the mechanic could get to him. He pushed himself off the bed and cried out as his knees crumpled beneath him. 

Tony caught him before he could hit the floor and landed harshly on his own knees before pulling the boy into his lap as he sat on the cold ground. 

“Just calm down, Petey. It’s okay.” 

Steve took a hesitant step forward and Tony put a hand up as Peter whimpered and cowered away. 

“Give him some space.” 

Peter was shaking, hands grasping at Tony as he pressed his face to his neck. Tony held him, arms wrapped around the kid in the best hug he could manage with the broken brace in the way. 

“Peter, no one’s going to come any closer without your say so but I need to know what’s going on, you understand? You need to tell me what’s happening inside that head of yours so I can fix it.”

Peter squirmed in his hold, his voice barely above a whisper, voice cracked as the small words unleashed a new wave of sobbing. 

“I’m scared.”

His loud, messy sobs shook him so hard that Tony held onto him tighter, rocking them both on the floor as he tried not to cry himself. 

“Aw, buddy.”

Despite his body wracking crying Peter seemed to feel safer in Tony’s arms and started explaining himself. 

“Everything hurts and everyone looks worried about me like I’m gonna break.”

He sobbed miserably, sounding so small and sad that Tony didn’t know what to do with himself. “I don't wanna break.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it? lol i dont really have like a solid plan for this fic so its prob super messy but you know what? thats okay


	9. Chapter 9

“I don’t wanna break.”

Tony closed his eyes against the pain the small voice wreaked on his heart. It wasn’t fucking fair. 

“You won’t, Pete. I won’t let you.”

He held him, rocking and muttering soothing words into his hair until Peter’s sobs melted back into tired hiccups and sighs against his shoulder. 

Peter was heavy against him, the weight comforting to the mechanic and he brushed the curls at the back of Peter’s neck, allowing himself the small indulgence. 

“Everythings going to be alright, Pete.”

The teenager was quiet now, having cried himself out and he lay against Tony’s chest like a toddler being soothed to sleep. 

“How do you know?”

Tony scratched softly at the curls at the back of Peters neck, still swaying them from side to side on the floor like it was the only place he wanted to be. And it was. 

“Because I’m here. And I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Peter was content with that answer, trusting that Tony would take care of everything. 

Tony didn’t want to move but he hadn’t forgotten about Bruce standing against the wall watching them, or the concern in his eyes. Peter had torn off his monitors and brace, he needed to be seen to. 

“I don’t want to let go of you but we need to get you back to bed.”

Peter made a small, unhappy noise at the back of his throat but didn’t move, words muffled. “Can’t I stay in my room?”

Tony met Bruce’s eyes, waiting until the doctor had nodded. 

“Sure, you can. But we need to get your brace and monitors back on first.”

“No.”

Peter sounded so little that Tony hated to push any further lest he make him cry but it was a necessary evil and he kissed the boys temple to soften the blow. 

“Sorry, buddy. No negotiating on this one.” 

Peter whined and wiped a hand over his eyes. 

“Sorry.”

Tony carefully laid the boy flat on the ground as Peter continued, wincing at the shift and cold floor.

“I didn’t mean to be such a baby.”

Bruce carefully removed the broken brace and put another on the teenager as Tony leaned over Peter, hand sweeping his hair back. “You’re going through a lot, Pete. It hasn’t been the smoothest few weeks. Give yourself some time, it’ll get easier.”

Peter watched him, eyes wide and attentive as Tony slipped a hand under his neck, grounding him and helping block out the tightening of the brace. “But next time it gets too much just tell someone, okay?”

Peter nodded and allowed the two men to sit him up, hand already itching to pull at his new brace. He hated feeling trapped and squeezed and he wheezed a little.

Tony let him lean up against his chest and rubbed a careful hand over his arm. “Hey, you’re okay. Try not to think about it.”

Peter shifted and grabbed the mechanics hand, squeezing tight. “I can’t.”

Tony squeezed back and helped Bruce tuck a blanket around the boy. 

“You can. We’re going to make a plan, okay? First, we’ll get you to your room and we’ll put a movie on. What do you want to watch?”

Bruce handed an oxygen mask over but Peter pushed it away, feet kicking restlessly against the floor. “I- I don’t-”

Tony took the mask and held it ready but not putting it on Peter until he’d calmed down. “How about something special, huh? You want to see the test footage from when I was building my mark two?”

Peters squirming stilled immediately, head turning to see the mechanic, eyes wide and bright again. “Really? I can see it?”

Tony nodded and slowly pressed the mask to Peters face, distracting him as Bruce reattached wireless monitors to his chest and index finger. 

“The first time I tried to fly it, I slammed myself into the wall and ruined all of my cars.”

Peter closed his eyes to try and block out all the touching and just listened to Tony’s voice, focussing on the rumble of his chest against his own back.

“It was back when I still had Jarvis. He was so snarky it’s a wonder it didn’t transfer to Vision.”

Peter managed a smile as he calmed his breathing. “Maybe Dr Bruce’s influence overpowered it.”

Bruce laughed softly and patted the kids knee. “Maybe. You want to try and get into a wheelchair? We can get you to your room if you like.”

Peter nodded, wiping a hand over his eyes before blinking at the Captain as he approached, hands raised in caution. 

“Peter...I’m sorry for scaring you.” His eyes flickered to the wheelchair Bruce was pushing forward, looking like he was about to offer his help when he thought better of it, hands and gaze lowering. “I can leave if you want-”

Peter really had hated the way Steve had restrained him but he knew that had been his fault anyway and he shook his head. “It’s okay. You were stopping me from doing something stupid, I’m sorry for pushing you. You’re not hurt are you?”

Steve’s mouth lifted a little at the sides at the worry in Peters voice. “No, I’m alright.” His eyes still wouldn’t meet Peters and he jumped a little when Bruce touched his arm. 

“Can you help Peter in?”

Steve nodded and shook himself as he knelt next to the kid, moving as carefully as he could, hands hesitant as he took hold of him. 

Getting him into the chair was easy but something was still bothering Steve and he removed his hands from Peter the second he could. The teenager was worried, not sure what was upsetting him so much. 

“I’m going to get a few things ready for lunch,” Tony was fussing, tucking blankets around Peter and making sure it was wrapped around his socked feet. “are you going to be okay with Captain Underpants here, for a bit?”

Peter snickered at the name but nodded and gave a little wave to Bruce before Cap wheeled him out. 

Steve was less sure. He took hold of the handles on Peters wheelchair and pushed him out into the hall, steering him towards his room while Peter fiddled nervously with his blanket. 

The silent, rigid soldier routine was making him anxious but he didn’t say anything until they were in his room, Steve lifting him from his chair. 

“Mr Rogers?”

“Just Steve is fine, Pete.” His voice was softer than he’d ever heard it but his eyes were sad and if Peter didn’t know any better he’d say they were guilty. 

He cradled Peter in one arm while he used the other to pull back the teenagers blankets before he laid him down and tucked him in. 

Peter hated to see him look so sad. He had the sudden urge to pat his cheek like May or Tony or even Pepper did to him when he was sad but he kept his hands in his lap as Steve arranged his blankets for him. 

If he wasn’t going to pat Captain America he could at least talk to him. “Are you okay? I’m really not mad at you, I promise. And I’m sorry for freaking out and yelling and I’m really, really sorry for pushing you.”

Steve looked sadder than before. What was he doing wrong? 

“You don’t have to apologize. I should be the one…” He didn’t finish, throat closing up and he kept his eyes down as he sat on the edge of Peters bed. 

Peter watched quietly as Steve’s jaw clenched so tight he thought he might break something, fingers nervously pulling at the blanket. 

Peter wasn’t sure if it would help at all but he needed to say it. “You were the one that found me, right?”

Steve closed his eyes, a sharp breath leaving him before he nodded and finally raised his eyes to the teenagers. “I’m so sorry, Peter. If Tony hadn’t insisted on seeing you-” The words were heavy but he pushed on, despite the shame that burned through him because of it. 

“I tried to stop him.”

Peter had to admit it freaked him out to hear or think about anything to do with the...incident or whatever, but he couldn't let Steve think it was his fault.

“You thought I was dead. It was the right thing to do.”

Steve’s gaze wavered and he was almost begging Peter to blame him, to name the guilt that he’d been holding on to. Because if it wasn’t his fault it was just a tragedy. Just something awful that could happen again, that he couldn't control.

“If Tony hadn’t insisted, you’d be...you would have…”

Peter shook his head and fought past his own insecurities to take Steve’s hand and hold it tight. “You didn’t know. And if I had been...dead...then that's what I would have wanted. I don’t want Mr Stark seeing me like that. You did the right thing.”

The words didn’t seem to be the right ones and he conceded, trying something else. 

“I forgive you.”

Steve pulled in a shaky breath and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the boy. “I’m really glad that you’re okay.”

Peter hugged him back, smiling and finally feeling a little better. “Me too.”


	10. Chapter 10

Tony watched Steve leave with Peter and quickly ducked down the hall to the kitchen, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

Bruce had said Peter had to be eating before he took the g-tube out and they all knew he wouldn’t be doing that. 

It didn’t take long for him to pick up. “What’s up?”

“Barton? How do you get kids to eat when they don’t want to?”

The answer was quick, words hummed through and Tony could imagine the archer leaning lazily on the counter as he spoke. “Uh, well there’s the aeroplane, threats of dessert being taken away or you could go the opposite route and bribe them. Singing sometimes helps depending on the age. Why?”

Tony scratched at his stubble as he tried to explain. “Peters too nauseous to eat anything but he can’t get the g-tube taken out until he does. The kids already too skinny and I don’t know what to do. He usually eats everything in the house.”

Clint hummed again through the phone and when he spoke again Tony could hear the smile in his voice. “You know with a kid like Peter I think I know what might work.”

::::::::::

‘When can I visit again? I haven’t seen you since you started waking up.’

Peter smiled sadly at his phone as he texted Ned back. ‘Soon. I’m staying in my own room now, thank god. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I really miss you’

The reply was quick, a happy blip coming from his phone as the text bubble popped up. ‘I miss you too, dude.’

A knock at his door stole his attention away from his phone and he looked up to see Mr Stark smiling in the doorway. “Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?”

Peter nodded, happy that he’d asked. It was a nice change from the constant in and out flow of people from his room in the medbay and it was nice to feel like he had his privacy back.

Tony walked in, a big box in his arms with a hastily tied ribbon around it. He looked excited but Peter groaned before he could speak. 

“Please tell me you didn’t buy me another corporation. We’ve talked about this.”

Tony’s face scrunched into a semi embarrassed smirk for a second before he rolled his eyes. “That was one time and it's not like you were very specific.”

Peter found himself laughing, phone forgotten for a moment. “I just asked for Burger King! Like, one burger, maybe two.”

Tony gave a mock bow. “And now you are the Burger King. You’re welcome. Anyway, no I didn’t buy you a corporation but in a moment you’re going to wish I did. Here.”

He handed the box over and Peter took it cautiously, wondering what that weirdly worded sentence meant. 

With Tony, the present could be anything but when Peter looked inside the box he was pleased to find- “Oh my god! You got me a Playstation!” 

His shoulders slumped and the smile fell from his face to be replaced by a look of suspicion. “Wait. Why did you get me a Playstation? Is this a guilt gift? Because I’ve already told you and everyone else that it wasn’t anyone's fault.”

Tony frowned, embarrassed. “What? No, it’s not a guilt gift...Well…”

“I don’t take guilt gifts. The only reason I kept Bucky's friendship bracelet was because he made it himself in his art therapy class and-”

Tony waved a hand and sat on the edge of Peters bed with him. “No, Pete, it's not that. I just thought it might help take your mind off things. And you know, Ned can come over and play it with you so that you’re both too excited by the game to be affected by the buckets of trauma this terrible accident has left you with. Presents cure emotional scars, right? That's how that works?”

One of the many things he loved about Mr Stark was his understanding of how humor helped make trauma easier to bear. Sure, their jokes were dark sometimes but making each other laugh while in mortal danger or literally in the middle of therapy sessions was kind of their thing now. 

Peter laughed at Tony’s jokingly confused expression. “I don’t think so but thanks anyway.”

Tony smiled, tension melting from the two of them like foundation at the gym and the mechanic pointed at the game console in the box. “Is it the right one? It’s the newest one they had although I did consider buying the company to get you the new unreleased model but Pepper said I wasn’t allowed to make you CEO of anymore companies without your permission.”

Peter nodded in appreciation. “Go Pepper. Yeah, this is awesome, thank you! Seriously, you didn’t have to do this.”

Tony looked confused, for real this time. “I don’t know why you always act so amazed when I get you stuff. It wasn’t even that expensive, Pete. I’ve spent more on one tie than I did on this console. Whatever you need, just ask.”

Peter shook his head fondly. It never ceased to amaze him the things Tony considered inexpensive. “This is perfect, thank you, Mr Stark.”

Tony looked pleased, as if he could have possibly gotten it wrong.

“Good. I’m going to get your lunch, you call Ned and tell him he can come over.”

Peters face lit up, which was, objectively, one of Tony’s four favourite things in the world. 

“He can come?”

Tony nodded and tried to hide his own smile. “Of course. If that's what you want.”

Peters smile faltered for a moment, eyes dipping down to his lap as he thought it over. Did he want Ned seeing him? He had a tube in his nose, a brace keeping his spine aligned and he couldn’t make it out of bed by himself. 

Tony brushed a curled finger under the kids chin, hating to see him look so sad after hearing something that should have made him happy. “What's the pout for, buddy?”

Peter fiddled with the bow around the box as he spoke, voice quiet and unsure. “What if he doesn’t want to see me like this?”

Tony couldn’t help but coo at the boy and he pressed his palms to Peters cheeks to get him to look him in the eye. “Aw Petey Pie, Ned is your best friend. You think he’s going to stop caring about you just because you’re a little banged up?”

Peter blinked at the tears suddenly in his eyes. “I know he cares about me but seeing someone like this is scary and I...what if its too much?”

Tony let go of him and smiled, pointing to the phone still in Peters lap. “Call him now and tell him.”

Peter frowned again, stammering as he tried to understand. “What? But I just-”

Tony raised an eyebrow, knowing what Peters answer would be before he’d even asked the question. “Do you trust me?”

Peter didn’t hesitate and it warmed Tony’s old reactor heart. “Of course.”

“Then call him.”

The teenager didn’t know what he was up to but he did as he was told and opened Facetime. 

The happy ring tone only trilled twice before his screen was filled with the excited face of his best friend.

“Yoooooo! What's up? Did you get the video I sent you? MJ tripped Flash during lunch and he fell face first into his empanada. It went everywhere. I cannot believe I got it on video.”

Peter tried to keep his face turned to his good side, as in the one without the tube as he let out a nervous snicker. “Yeah. The carrot that got stuck up his nose? The best thing that's ever happened.”

Ned laughed and Peter tried to gather up some courage as Tony nudged his arm in encouragement. “Hey, do you want to come over? Mr Stark got me a Playstation four.”

Ned’s eyes widened and Peters view of him grew shaky as he became too excited to hold the phone still. “OH MY GOD! DUDE, YES! I’ll come over right now!”

Tony leaned into frame and gave the overeager teenager a smile. “See you in half an hour, Happy’s picking you up.”

He ended the call and looked back at Peter, unable to help himself from brushing an unruly curl away from his face. “See? It’s going to be great. He’s really missed you, bud.”

Peter was still nervous but his anxiety melted away at the level tone of Mr Starks voice, the low rumble comforting as always. “Thanks, Mr Stark.”

::::::::::::::

“So, have you told him yet?”

Tony threw another strawberry into the blender and tossed the green leaves he’d ripped off onto a growing pile by the sink. “Told who, what?”

Pepper leaned her hip on the counter beside him and watched his concentration shift from his smoothie-making to her. “Have you told Peter you love him?”

Tony gave an almost full body shudder, the sudden switch from fruit to emotional vulnerability making him anxious and he tossed a banana into the mix with more force than necessary. “I can’t just blurt that out anytime I want to, Pep. Besides, I wouldn't even know how to say it and you know how Peter is. It’ll probably make his head explode. I mean, I tucked him in the other night and his face turned so red I thought he stopped breathing.”

Pepper almost laughed but didn’t buy any of Tony’s excuses. She saw right through his confident bravado to the boy inside who’d never heard his dad say he loved him. 

“Yes, you can. You can say it anytime you want to. Like this.” She leaned forward and caught his gaze, her soft smile lighting up her whole face. “I love you, Tony.”

His tense shoulders fell back down and he sighed, smiling. She never ceased to make his heart skip a beat when she did that. “I love you too. But its not the same.”

His attention went back to the smoothie and Pepper watched him throw more ingredients in. “Why not?”

“Because Peter’s a teenager and- well, he’s supposed to be my protege and I don’t know what he’ll think and it just feels too big and silly and-”

Pepper grabbed his hand, slightly sticky with fruit juice, before he could work himself up any further. “He’s not going to reject you, Tony. He loves you too. You know that.”

But did he? Did he know for sure? So many people in Tony’s life were supposed to love him and so many of them let him down. Peter couldn't possibly be one of them but...it didn’t make it any easier. 

Pepper squeeze his fingers as he sighed, giving in and she kept her voice soft. “When Peter was first brought in you were beside yourself with regret for not telling him. You need to do it now, while you have the chance. Don’t make the same mistake your father did, honey. You’re better than that.”

Tony loved Pepper more than anything in the world and he didn’t miss the silent ‘you’re better than your father’ in her words. He leaned forward and smiled against her lips, pressing soft kisses to her perfect mouth. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

She laughed and brought a hand up to run her fingers through his hair. “Hmm I’m not sure. I guess you just got lucky.”

Tony gripped her waist, smoothie forgotten completely. “Well, then I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

:::::::::::::::

“-so gnarly. What does it feel like?”

Tony walked in to see Peter shrug as Ned poked at the G tube running from his nose across his cheek where Bruce had taped it. 

“I don’t really feel it anymore. But look.” He opened his mouth to show Ned the tube running down his throat and the other teenager cried out in half disgusted interest. 

“Woooah! That’s so weird! We have to get some pizza back into you, dude. They just brought out a new flavor with spaghetti on it.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he entered, freshly made smoothie in hand. “Are we all done with show and tell now? Because spaghetti on pizza sounds disgusting and I demand we try it immediately.” 

Peter snickered but he found Tony’s subtle head tilt in question and Peter nodded. He was okay and Tony was, of course, right. Ned didn’t care about the tube’s and wires or the monitors stuck all over his best friend, he was just happy to see him awake again. 

Tony nodded back and pulled a tray table over to Peters bed and set his smoothie down, although it was so thick it was practically custard. “Spider-boy, this is for you, and Ned, you can just ask Friday to order you whatever you like.”

Ned smiled, eternally easy to please. “Thanks, Mr Stark!”

Peter, however, was less enthused about his meal. “Thanks.” He pushed the tray away and grabbed his game controller as Ned set up the game for them. 

Tony didn’t want to be naggy and annoying but the kid had already lost too much weight. “Peter, you need to drink that, kiddo. Remember what Brucie said.”

The teenager scrunched his nose up as he eyed the drink with disdain. “I can’t. I’m still too nauseous.”

Tony hummed and took a seat next to Peters bed as Ned settled himself on the edge of the mattress on the other side. “Have you had your Ondansetron?” 

Ned spun to look at him, eyes wide. “You have transformers?!”

Peter managed a laugh as he shook his head and pressed a few buttons on his controller to start the game. “No, Ned it’s an anti-nausea medication. And, yes I had it.”

Tony kept quiet as the boys started playing their game and waited until they were thoroughly distracted before he took Peters smoothie. 

“Okay, I got the left you just focus on the right and we’ll keep the west wing covered until the second wave hits.”

Peters bad hand was a little tricky to manipulate still and he stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth as he lifted his elbow high to counteract the unbendable wrist problem his cast caused. 

“Yo, how much cash you got? I need an upgraded gun here. This glock is crap with long range.”

“I got an AX 50. I’ll drop it by the stairs but you’ve gotta be quick. The dogs are coming in the next wave.”

“Man, I hate killing those dogs.”

It was nice seeing Peter just be a teenager again, all his focus on the giant screen Tony had gotten for his room, shoulder bumping against Ned’s as they fought together against the terrible...whatever enemy the game had. 

He didn’t want to interrupt them, just in case his plan backfired but he really needed to get the kid to eat. 

“Dude, back me up here. I’ve got eight guys approaching and one of them’s got a PILA.”

Peter leaned forward in his bed as he tried to get his guy on the screen to run faster and Tony took his chance to uncup the smoothie and grab a spoon. 

“Yep, yep, yep. I’m coming. Where is he? I’ll switch to my Draganov.”

Tony moved as quickly and carefully as he could and scooped up a spoonful of smoothie before lifting it to Peters mouth. The kid pulled his face away at first distractedly but with his concentration so devoted to his game, instinct soon took over and he opened his mouth to let the spoon in. 

Tony smiled and tried to rein in his elation in order to keep going and he spoonfed the kid another scoop of smoothie. 

Peter didn’t notice the mechanics trick, with the many drugs running through his system and his compromised healing ability, his senses weren’t as sharp as they used to be and Tony’s ministrations flew under the radar. 

It wasn’t until the two teenagers lost the round that he noticed, licking his lips as he threw his controller down. 

“Dammit! Those stupid helicopters! I couldn’t get more ammo in time. What the…Why does my mouth taste like strawberries?”

Tony hid the evidence before the Spider-Baby could see and quickly backed out of the room. “I’m going to see about getting that horrid spaghetti pizza for dinner, I’ll be back!”

He couldn't hold back his excitement any longer and he practically skipped to the kitchen to put the half empty cup in the fridge before pulling out his phone to text Barton. 

‘Worked like a charm. You’re a lifesaver. Bring Laura and the family over for dinner and I’ll make it up to you.’

The reply came quick with a dozen emojis tacked on at the end. ‘Told you. You got the Dad skills now, Stark.’

Dad skills. Tony liked the sound of that.


	11. Chapter 11

“Okay, kiddo you ready for your bath?”

Peter tossed his controller down, already pulling his blankets away as Tony pushed his wheelchair up to the bed. Peter was getting stronger but he wasn’t strong enough to manage walking just yet. He and Steve had been working on physical therapy but it was mostly stretching and working on his range of motion. 

“Oh, hell yes. I feel so gross, I can’t wait to wash my hair.”

It had admittedly been too long since Peter had any kind of wash but the kid had resolutely refused a sponge bath. Tony had been relieved when Peter had finally asked for help, eyes looking up at him through his eyelashes, the teenager too embarrassed to lift his head. “Can you do it?”

He hadn’t wanted the nursing staff to do it and that was understandable, but it wasn’t like May was a better option. The poor teenager was embarrassed and asking someone to help him take a bath was not on his list of fun things to do. But if had to be anyone it was better it was Tony.

He was his mentor and maybe perhaps sort of like a dad and for whatever reason he didn’t want anyone else doing it. 

Tony had agreed and less than twenty minutes later, there they were. “Okay, hang on. Slow down we need to switch out your brace.”

Peter groaned and Tony sympathised but Bruce had said he’d need to continue to wear it. The modified water-resistant one had been the compromise they agreed on and it would just have to do. 

He shifted Peters pillows out of the way and helped him lay back down before untying the strings at the side of Peters gown. Peter hated the flowy, baggy thing but until then he’d been largely bedridden and Bruce and the other nurses had needed easy access to Peters still healing wounds and monitors. 

But Peter was getting stronger and he no longer needed the extra nursing staff or the constant monitoring. The bandages on his chest had been removed and he was getting the cast on his hand taken off in a few days. 

It was progress. 

Once the new brace was on Tony tied the gown back in place before gripping the boy's hand and pulling him up to sit, watching as the teenager dropped his legs over the side of his bed. “You ready to do some standing?”

Peter nodded, Tony’s hands gripping his hips as he held the man's forearms in case his legs gave out. “Steve’s been helping me move around a bit. I’m getting better at it.”

The kid was a bit wobbly on his feet, even though it was only for a few seconds before Tony got the wheelchair under him but he smiled all the same. “Standing up after being in bed for so long is awesome. Can I ask Steve for some extra time in physical therapy tomorrow?”

Tony got him settled and wheeled him to the adjoining bathroom. “As long as you’re not pushing yourself too hard.”

Peter rolled his eyes but agreed. 

He’d agree to pretty much anything if it got him into a bath. He felt gross and sweaty and all he wanted was to sink into that hot water and wash it all away. 

Tony had already run the water for him and filled it with bubbles and bath bombs and the smell of bubblegum and apple-filled the room, practically making Peters mouth water. 

“It smells so good!” 

Tony smiled and parked the wheelchair next to a small bench that was sitting next to the bath, safety equipment and various mobility devices scattered around the lush bathroom. 

“Good. I wasn’t sure which one you’d want so I got a bunch to choose from. I even got some with that glitter you thought was so cool, although I don’t know how practical it is.”

Tony gripped the teenager's waist and lifted him from the chair to the bench and Peter leaned over to run his hand through the water. 

“It feels so soft. Can water feel soft?”

Tony smirked as he started untying Peters gown again, now in the privacy of the bathroom. “I think it’s been too long since you bathed, Pete. You’re getting all worked up over some coloured water.”

Peter flicked some of the water in Tony’s direction as he laughed. “Yeah, says you. I know Rhodey’s had to force you from your lab before and-”

His words faltered as his he caught his reflection in the floor-length mirror and he froze. He hadn’t seen himself since the incident. He knew he’d lost a bit of weight and that he’d been badly hurt. He knew he had a tube taped to his face and a brace on and he knew he’d had claws raked through his chest but seeing it...that was something else.

It didn’t look like him at all. His hair was longer, curls not bright and bouncy like they usually were. His cheekbones were sharper and his skin was pale. But the worst was revealed when his gown dropped to his lap. 

He had bright pink scars stretching from his shoulder to his hip where he’d been torn apart and sewn back together again. 

“Peter?”

“It doesn't look like me.” It didn’t sound like him either. Small and scared and Peter felt something wet hit his cheek before Tony’s finger came to brush it away. 

“Hey. It’s still you. You’re still Peter.”

Tony pulled at his chin until he was facing him, the reflection replaced with the steady gaze of his mentor and he took a deep shuddering breath. 

“I won’t be able to take my shirt off in gym. People will ask questions. And I don’t-”

Tony nodded, trying to be gentle but not wanting to lie. “We can do some more sessions with the halo. Helen said it could reduce the scarring. And I know it’s going to take some getting used to but, Peter. I need you to listen to me when I say you’ll be okay.”

Tony’s eyes were adamant and a little sad and Peter nodded. Mr Stark had woken up in a cave with a hole carved into his chest and a car battery hooked up to a magnet inside him. Scars were something he knew a lot about and Peter pulled in a long, deep breath. 

He’d be okay. 

“I’ll be okay.” The repeated words helped to ease the anxiety scratching at the walls inside his head and he wiped a hand over his cheek and looked back to the bath. 

“I just want to be clean.”

Tony took the sign to move on and he smiled. “Right, let's get you in then, shall we? You want to keep your shorts on?”

Thankfully, Peter had been graced with boxers underneath his gown and he nodded, grateful to be able to keep some sort of scrap of dignity. 

“Yeah, thanks. Wait, my cast.”

Tony grabbed a plastic bag and some duct tape and Peter frowned, lip curling as he held his arm out to be wrapped and taped. “I really thought you’d have something more advanced than a bag from CVS.”

Tony raised an eyebrow as he lifted the roll of tape, smug. “Well, this isn’t just regular tape.”

Peter took a closer look at it and beamed. “Is that my stuck tape?! I can’t believe you kept it!”

Tony laughed at the boy's enthusiasm. Peter had been bored in the lab and accidentally invented a new breed of duct tape made from the same components of his web fluid. It stuck fast to absolutely anything but only for a few hours before it degraded and melted away. It had very few practical uses but what it could fix it did very well. 

Tony shrugged. “Well, it’s waterproof, dirt-resistant and really strong. It’s like flex tape but for temporary use. I’ve actually found it pretty useful in the lab. I’m thinking of adding it to the medkits for in-field fixes.”

Peter tried not to show how happy his mentors praise made him but his voice still went up higher than he thought possible. Embarrassing. 

“Really?”

Tony laughed and patted Peters arm where he’d finished taping it up. “Yeah, kid. Don’t act so surprised. You’re a genius, after all, this sort of stuff is par for the course, remember?” 

Peter nodded, blushing. He had created his own webs and shooters, he shouldn’t be surprised that Tony Stark liked his sticky tape but he was. What even was his life? 

Tony put his supplies down and reached for the teenager. “Okay, you ready?”

“Yep!”

It took a bit of shuffling but between the two of them, they managed to get Peter on his feet and into the bathtub to lay back on the frame Tony had put in. It was basically a bigger version of those ramps you put babies on in the bath to keep their heads out of the water. 

Peter didn’t know where Tony had gotten it from but it was padded and shaped perfectly to make him more comfortable and Peter sighed as the warm water enveloped him. 

“Hmmmmmgod that feels good.”

Tony laughed and rolled up his sleeves. “Good.”

He grabbed a cloth and lathered it up, starting on the teenager's arms and shoulders. 

Peter was content to just lay back with his eyes closed, curls floating in the water around him and Tony let his mind wander. 

He hummed as he cleaned the kid up, not even realising the noises falling from his mouth until Peter started humming along. 

His fingers paused where they were massaging shampoo into the boy's hair and he blinked, surprised. “You know that song?”

Peter’s eyelids fluttered opened and he frowned, thinking. “I don’t know. I think so? It’s familiar but I don’t know why.”

Tony bit his tongue. It was the song he’d sung Peter when he was in the coma. But was that why he knew it? No, it was an old song he’d probably just heard it somewhere before. 

He kept his fingers moving, laughing as Peter hummed contentedly, eyes closing once more. “Don’t fall asleep. I won’t be able to get you out by myself.”

Peter's neck rolled with each knead of Tony’s fingers and he sighed, words slurring just a little. “M’not.”

Tony couldn't help but laugh as he poured a palmful of water over Peters's hair to wash the suds out. 

It was a quiet, rare moment of calm that Tony had learnt to make the most of and he took his time. Once Peter's hair was clean and his skin was scrubbed Tony grabbed a towel. 

Peter was asleep for sure, and Tony debated whether he should wake the kid or not. 

On the one hand, the poor boy had exhausted himself and could use a nap but on the other, Tony could end up hurting himself if he tried to lift him on his own. 

“Pete. I need you to wake up for just a moment. You can sleep once we get you into bed.”

The teenager let out a displeased groan and Tony swiped a thumb across his cheek, smiling as Peter's feet kicked a little in the water. “Rise and shine, Spider-boy. Can’t stay in the bath forever.”

“I can.” 

He looped an arm behind the kids back and slowly pulled him up so that he was sitting, leaning against his shoulder and soaking his shirt. 

“No, you can’t. Come on, Pete.”

Water cascaded from him and filled the bathroom with noise, breaking the quiet soothing scene. Peter cried out at the sudden cacophony and turned his face to Tony’s warm shoulder, hands coming up to grab at his shirt. 

“Too loud.”

Tony pressed his wide palm to Peter's ear, wrapping his other arm around the kid in a hug. “I know, you’re okay. You’re just tired, buddy.”

He waited a moment and let him calm down before cajoling the spider up and out of the bath, sitting him on the bench beside him. Peter blinked tiredly as Tony wrapped him in the biggest fluffiest towel he could, catching the teenager when he tipped towards his chest. 

“You okay? Are you falling asleep again?”

Peter nodded against his collarbone, his brace digging into Tony’s ribs but it was worth it and he wrapped his arms around him and held him there. “Big day.”

Tony nodded and lifted the hood of the towel up over Peter's head, happy that he’d gotten one with a hood that would keep Peter warm until he got him dressed. “Yeah, it was but we need to get you into some PJ’s.”

Peter sighed, barely awake. “Five minutes?”

Tony rolled his eyes but obliged, appreciating the hug as much as Peter was. “Okay, five minutes.”

The bathroom was warm and Peter was breathing softly against him, a warm, reassuring weight against his chest and Tony was hit with a sudden thought. 

Fuck Howard Stark. 

What kind of idiot would give up this? A perfect, brilliant kid with big eyes and adorable curls who took every opportunity he had to give Tony a hug. A kid who lit up every room he went into and insisted on making everyone happy. 

Yeah, Tony hadn’t been an easy teenager, not like Peter was but to give up moments like that, moments that could seem insignificant but mean everything. Taking care of the kid that looked up to you, being there when he needed you (god, dad I needed you. How could you not see that?) holding him and protecting him and doing everything you could to keep him safe. Being there, no matter what.

To give up being a dad? How could he?

Tony had always thought his father was the smartest person he’d ever known but at that moment...he only saw a cold-hearted moron who died never knowing what it was like to love your child more than anything else in the world. 

But Tony knew now, what it was like and he wouldn't take it for granted. 

Peter sighed against his neck, sleepy hand still grasping at his shirt and Tony laid his cheek against his hair and closed his eyes. “I love you, Pete.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more coming soon hopefully! Thanks for the support!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry I know this one took a while, I sprained my thumb lol but its all g now and I hope you like this one

“I love you, Pete.” 

Tony wasn’t expecting a reply from the sleeping teenager but the words came anyway. 

“I love you, too.” 

His voice was quiet and sleepy but Tony couldn’t help but freeze when he heard it, heart pounding in his chest. 

That hadn’t been the plan. 

“I didn’t know you were awake, kiddo.” 

Peter shifted against him, sounding more awake and just a little upset. “Was I not meant to hear it?” 

Tony hugged him closer as he amended, not wanting Peter to think he didn’t mean it. “Of course you were. I just...I’m not good at feelings and I was trying to build up the courage to actually say them to your face. I thought if I got used to saying it, telling you when you’re awake wouldn't be so hard. It was stupid of me, I’m sorry.”

Peter settled against him once more, talking through a yawn. “It’s not stupid.”

Tony hadn’t planned on telling Peter the rest but he’d said the big scary words and the world hadn’t collapsed so maybe it would be okay to explain too. “I should have said it a while ago. When you got hurt I thought id never be able to tell you and that killed me.”

“You did.”

Tony had never met someone who managed to floor him so thoroughly and so often. “What?”

Had he told the kid he’d loved him before? He didn’t think so. Maybe he’d drunk dialled him or-

“I heard you. You said that you loved me more than anything. You also said you were sorry.”

Jesus. That was when he’d been on the street. When Tony had thought he was dead. 

“You remember that?”

Tony was glad they were hugging so that he didn’t have to look at Peters face when they spoke about something so momentous. 

“Its fuzzy but...yeah. I-” He hesitated, words muffled like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to be telling anyone. “I saw my mom and dad. And Uncle Ben. It was so real, I’ve never had a dream like it. I swear I could feel my mom take my hand...but then I heard you and I wanted to stay.”

Tony’s vision blurred and he blinked, sending tears down his cheeks and he sniffed, tightening his grip on the kid in his arms. 

Did he want to know? He asked anyway. 

“What else do you remember?”

“You stayed with me. You promised not to leave and I could feel you hold my hand. I heard May and Ned too.”

That, at least, he could explain.   
“That was when you were in the coma.”

He knew Peter must have been getting cold just sitting there in a towel but the teenager didn’t pull away so he didn’t either. 

“You...you sang to me I think. Was it that song from earlier? The one you were humming? Something like “beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...”

Tony blinked again through his blurry vision and finished the line.   
“Beautiful boy. Yeah. I didn't know you could hear that.”

“I couldn’t exactly think but I knew you were there. It helped.”

Tony pressed a hand to the back of Peters head and took a deep breath as he tried to pull himself together. 

“Good. Now, I’m liking this hug but I’m thinking we should get you dressed and into bed soon.”

Peter yawned as he nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

It didn’t take long to get the kid in his wheelchair and back to his bed. He was too tired to help with much but together they successfully got him into his own brace and sweats before Tony got him laying down. 

“Goodnight, kid. Sweet dreams.”

Peter hummed, pleased as his eyes slipped closed, Tony's fingers still running through his hair. 

“Night, Mr Stark.”

:::::::::::::::

“Petey, I know you’re tired but you need to eat dinner.” 

The lights flipped on and Peter groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. “No.”

Tony gave a quiet laugh and made his way over to the grumpy teenager, pulling his blankets back. 

“Yes. Bruce is willing to take the G-tube out if you eat with us and I know you don’t want it in any longer than you have to.”

Peter had his eyes closed as he frowned. “Not hungry.”

Tony tugged at the boys socked feet, pulling one over the side of the bed to try and encourage him to get up. “Well, too bad. You need to get your strength back somehow.”

Peter playfully kicked at Tony’s hand and tried to roll back over only to find his mentors hands on his waist, stopping him. “Mr Stark-” 

He was whining and grumbling and acting so much like a kid that Tony laughed. Peter always tried so hard to make everyone see him as an adult and there he was refusing to get up from his nap. It was too funny. 

“If you don’t get up and have dinner with the Avengers I’ll call Ned and he can come take your place. Is that what you want?”

Peter smushed his face into his pillow, voice muffled against the cotton. “Sounds great. He’ll be thrilled.”

“Alright, young man, that’s it.” Tony gave up and grabbed the kid, hauling him up in his arms and carrying him out. “You are coming to eat dinner with your family. You can sleep later.”

Peter squealed in surprise as he was dragged from his bed, hands gripping at Tony’s shirt as his feet kicked helplessly. 

“Mr Staaaarrk!”

Tony wasn’t phased by his complaints and carried him all the way to the dining room where he sat him down at the table. 

“Okay, Spider-Baby’s here. We can start.”

Steve placed a platter of roles onto the table and smiled. “Hey, Peter. Sorry we had to wake you from your nap.”

Peter smoothed down his shirt as much as he could around his brace and tried to fix his hair. “Uh, no worries. Sorry, I didn’t know you were waiting on me.”

Pepper placed a cup of juice in front of him and patted his shoulder. “Relax, it’s just dinner. It’s nice to see you out of your room.”

Peter smiled at her and felt his tense muscles ease. “It’s nice to be out of my room. So, what’s with this…” he was reluctant to say it but he found Tony’s eyes and raised eyebrow and said it anyway. 

“...family dinner?”

Tony nodded approvingly and ruffled his hair, Peter smacking his hand away so he could fix it again. “It’s been a while since the team got to have a nice dinner together and everyones been asking about you. We thought it might make you feel better.”

Peter tried to stop his blush from creeping any higher and rubbed nervously at his suddenly hot ears. “Oh, th-thanks. That’s really nice of you.”

Natasha put a pot of pasta in the middle of the table and took her seat. “I hear you’re impressing Steve in the gym.”

Peter tried for a smile at the compliment but it was hard to get excited when ‘impressive’ meant ‘standing on his own for a few seconds’. 

Steve was more than happy to sing his praises, though, and sat down, smiling. “You’re one strong kid. You’re healing so fast. I have to say, I didn’t believe all of Tony’s bragging about you but now I do.”

Peters head snapped up at that, Tony spinning towards Steve with an accusatory glare in the same moment. “He brags about me?”

“Shut your mouth Cap’n crunch!”

Peter laughed and held a hand out, pushing Tony away where he was trying to cover the teenagers ears. “No, no, I want to hear it.”

Steve watched the two of them, amused as Peter held Tony back with just one hand. “He used to go on and on about this amazing kid he’d found.”

Sam grabbed the tongs and started dishing up pasta for himself as he grumbled. “Yeah, it was really annoying.”

Steve carried on, smart enough to see an opportunity to embarrass Tony and wise enough to take it. “You should have heard him.” 

Bucky took over, putting on a terrible Tony impression as Clint started laughing beside him. “He’s smarter than any other kid I’ve ever met and you can bet your star spangled ass that he's stronger than you, Cap.”

Steve rolled his eyes, good naturedly. “Language, Buck.”

Pepper took her own seat and filled her wine glass. “He’s very proud of you Peter. He made me watch those Youtube videos of you a thousand times.”

Tony gave a half hearted glare to his fiancée before he gave in and waved a hand. “What can I say? I have good taste.”

Peter bit his lip to stop his smile from looking too stupid but Tony ruffled his hair anyway before sitting down beside him. 

“I am proud of you, kid. I couldn’t think of anyone better to join the team.”

Peter didn’t hold back his smile any longer, and he sniffed, trying to blink the sudden moisture from his eyes. “Thanks, Mr Stark.”

Clint was still considering Tony’s last statement and lifted his beer, considering. “You know there's always Wa-”

At least three other Avengers chimed in before Clint could finish. “NO!” 

Peter didn’t know who they were talking about but Tony shook his head and pointed a very serious finger at the archer. “Don’t even say his name. You could summon him or something. He’s like a demon.”

Clint wasn’t phased and shrugged. “I don’t think that's how it works. And I think he’s funny but whatever.”

The rest of the dinner was nothing like Peter had ever experienced. He’d seen it on movies and occasionally heard about it from Ned but he’d never had one before. A big, noisy, family dinner. 

Peter had never been a part of a big family before but he’d always been jealous of the way it looked on TV. Messy and loud with everyone talking and laughing at once. Sitting at the table with the Avengers was better than he’d ever dreamed. 

Thor had come to join them and was regaling them with stories of his latest adventure, arms waving as he reenacted his favorite parts. They were all making jokes and laughing and Peter was feeling better than he had in weeks. He even managed to eat half a bowl of spaghetti at Tony’s prompting. 

That was until one of Thor's stories triggered something deep in Peters mind. 

“They were massive. Claws as long as my arm.”

Images flashed in front Peters eyes and he flinched in his chair, Thor's story continuing. 

“The beast was so big each of its steps shook the ground.” He slammed his fist down on the table, sending a sharp shock up Peters spine, his spider-sense setting his teeth on edge.

“BOOM!” 

Peter blinked hard, trying to get the sudden memories from coming so strong. Blood and screams flooding his mind. 

“It didn’t take long to pop his jaw right open. You should have heard the snap of it’s bones. I tore its head clean off after that.”

Peters breathing was growing strained and Tony turned to him, worried. “Pete? You okay?”

All of the faces in the room suddenly turned to the teenager and he didn’t know what to do. 

“I can’t-”

Tony reached for him and Peter jolted, pushing his chair back from the table and getting to his feet. 

Steve’s eyes were wide with shock and concern, already making his way over. “Peter, stop! You’re going to-”

Too late. Peters spine wasn’t healed completely and his nerves weren’t ready for him to go walkabout. He only made it a few steps before his knees gave out and his left leg was lit up with pain. 

He fell to the hardwood, the thump of his body hitting the ground smothered by the noise suddenly filling the dining room. Every Avenger was on their feet, calling for the youngest member as they watched him tremble on the ground. 

Tony and Steve got to him first, hands crowding his skin as he cried out in agony. The muscles of his left leg were too tight, cramping and seizing, feeling as if they were tearing inside his leg. 

“Peter? What’s happening?”

Peter grabbed desperately at Tony as his mentor slid behind him and held him up, Steve’s hands pressing into his knotted calf. Peter screamed through the agony ripping through his leg and Tony lunged at Steve, halting his kneading fingers. 

“Stop! You’re hurting him!”

Steve tossed Tony’s hands off him and kept going, words almost lost amid Peters screams. 

“I have to ease it out! Bruce said this could happen. Just let me help. Hold him still if you can.”

His fingers dig into Peters muscles and the teenager cried out again. Tony felt helpless, trying to comfort the kid as he howled and sobbed in his arms. 

“It’s okay, Pete. It’ll be okay. Shhh, breathe, buddy. Just hang on.”

Peter sucked in desperate gasps between his sobs of pain but it was all too much. He was midway through a panic attack when he’d collapsed and he couldn’t get enough air in to think straight. He was overwhelmed and his strength failed him, vision blurring as he sunk back against his mentor. 

“Peter? Keep breathing. Come on.”

He sucked in rapid, exhausted pants as the pain began to ease and his body gave out, shutting down now that the danger had passed. 

“Peter?!” 

His eyes rolled back and closed, head falling back to thump against Tony’s shoulder and he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really mashing up the fluff and angst lol so prepare for more of that


	13. Chapter 13

Peter passed out in his arms and Tony sagged, sighing in releif. At least he wasn’t in pain. 

Steve let go of Peter to run a hand through his hair, head turning at Thors worried voice. 

“I’m sorry. I thought he’d like to hear about- he usually loves-“ 

“He loves your stories. He’s just going through a lot. It’s not your fault.” 

Thor nodded at the Capetians words but didn’t look convinced. 

Tony’s hands were shaking from the left over adrenaline and he held Peter carefully against his chest. “We should get him to his room. Friday tell Bruce to meet us there.” 

Steve’s voice was gentle as he held his hands out in offering. “He’s okay. Want me to carry him?”

Tony didn’t look happy to have to let go but nodded and allowed Steve’s hands to slip under the boy and lift him. “I want him checked out anyway.” 

The captain didn’t argue as he and Tony walked to the young arachnids room. 

It didn’t take long for Bruce to get there or for him to complete the once over. 

“He’ll be okay. He might bruise a little but everything else is fine.” 

Tony rubbed a hand over his face, trying to scrub the exhaustion from him. “Then what happened to him? I mean, the panic attack I get but what the hell was the-“ 

Bruce nodded. “Tony, we did talk about this when Peter was first fitted with his brace. The damage to his spine means that his left side won’t be as strong. He may get spasms or cramps from time to time and need extra support for that leg. It should improve with physical therapy and time.”

Tony was so tired. He sighed and sank into the mattress beside Peter, brushing his hair back where he sat beside him. “I just wish he had it easier.”

Bruce wished he could do more. 

“Me too.” 

::::::::::::

The shaky hand reached towards him as terrified eyes begged him for help. “Save me! Please!” 

It was the cop, the one that had died and Peter wanted to save her but he was too late. Her stomach was torn through and her guts were spilling out onto the street as she stumbled towards him, reaching, begging. 

“Help me!”

Peter jolted awake, hands shaking and reaching for someone that wasn’t there and he blinked through the darkness. His chest ached as he gasped, heart hammering away in his chest and he gripped his sheets at his sides. 

He took a deep breath and tried to orient himself in the moment. 

He was in his room. He was okay. 

He sighed and pressed his hands over his eyes, trying to get his mind to shut up. 

“Friday? Could you sing me a lullaby?”

It was childish and he knew it but whatever, he was allowed to be a little childish after his third nightmare that week. 

He closed his eyes and tried to deepen his breaths as Friday played a slow song but it just wasn’t the same. 

“Friday?” The music stopped. 

“Yes, Peter?”

“Is Mr Stark asleep?” 

“No.” 

Peter didn’t want to disturb him but he also didn’t want to be alone. 

“Is he busy?”

“He is currently reading over some SI contracts but he has asked about you three times in the last hour. I think he misses you.” 

The AI’s voice was so soft it almost sounded like she was smiling. 

“Why would he miss me?”

AI’s weren’t typically designed to have opinions but Peter knew that Tony designed each of his robots and AI’s to have personalities and if anyone knew Tony best it would be Friday. 

“He has been by your side since you arrived in the med bay. He is finding it difficult to be separated from you where he cannot tell if you are okay.” 

Peter hadn’t thought of that. 

“Could you ask him to come here?”

“Sure, Peter.” 

There was a pause before her voice returned. “He will arrive in one minute.” 

Peter waited in the dark until the door quietly opened and the lights lifted to a soft warm glow. 

Tony poked his head in and spotted the teenager watching him. “Hey, kid. Everything alright?”

He felt stupid but he said it anyway. Mr Stark had never shied away from any of his stupid ideas before. “I can’t sleep.”

Tony’s face softened and he walked in, closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong?”

Peter shuffled over enough to make it clear that he wanted Tony to sit next to him and he did. 

“I don’t know I just-“ he didn’t want to admit to having nightmares. Tony would just want him to talk about it and he didn’t want to relive it. 

“I can’t get my brain to be quiet.” 

Tony nodded at that but didn’t let him off the hook, tilting his head to the side as he searched Peters eyes. “Is there anything in particular that it keeps coming back to?”

Peter held his gaze before looking away, feeling guilty for lying. “No.”

“Is this about earlier? You don’t have to be embarrassed, Peter. We were all just worried about you. And Thor didn’t mean to scare you, he thought you’d like his stories.”

Peter hadn’t remembered how he’d gotten to his room but given what he recalled from dinner he figured he’d passed out. And it was embarrassing. “I did! It was just...I don’t know.”

“Pete? Is there something that you wanted to talk to me about?” Tony tried to go easy on him but it was hard to be subtle when your kid is hurting and won’t talk to you about it. 

“....” Peter pressed his lips together and turned his face to his pillow, holding his words back. He wanted to tell his mentor, because Mr Stark always made everything better but...this time he couldn’t. 

“Because you know that if there was that would be okay. You wouldn’t have to worry about what I might think or say. I’m on your side every time, no matter what. You know that.”

The guilt was rising in him but he couldn’t talk about it when it hurt so badly. He was afraid that it would only make it worse. 

“Yeah, I do.”

Mr Stark lifted a careful hand and laid it on the boys head, fingers moving gently through his hair, making him ache for his mom. 

“Peter, whatever it is that’s bothering you, I need you to tell me so that I can fix it. Is this...is this about that cop?” 

Peter wasn’t sure when he’d started crying but he felt a tear spill down his cheek onto his pillow and he quickly scrubbed it away, voice petulant and small. “No. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Tony knew the teenager needed to talk about it some time but he decided not to push. It was more important that Peter got to sleep. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready I’ll be here. For now, lets just your mind qiuet so you can sleep.”

Peter lifted a hand to rub at his tired eyes and nodded as Tony nudged his shoulder. 

“Get comfy.” 

He felt better already just having someone with him and he sighed as he rolled onto his front, the body pillow Tony got him helping make sleeping with his brace doable. 

“Close your eyes and think of something nice.” 

It was difficult to think about nice things after the long few weeks he’d had but Peter did his best. Nice things. Not the med bay or the way his stitches had pulled at his skin. Not the itch of his wounds healing. Not the nightmares or the cop. 

“Slow your breathing, buddy. You’re okay, it’s just you and me. We’ve got all the time in the world.” 

Tony pressed a hand to Peters back and started rubbing in slow circles. Rhythmic and calming so that the teenager could match his breaths to it. 

Peter closed his eyes and breathed, thinking only of the man sitting next to him. That time he picked him up from school and drove him around in his favourite sports car. The night in summer when they got ice cream after patrols. And Peters birthday when Tony surprised him. 

Peters heart calmed and his brain quieted, drifting off to the memory of Tony saving him a dozen different times. 

There was nothing that made him feel safer. “Night, Petey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not really sure exactly what im gonna do in the next few chapters so if theres any scenes you think would be cool let me know


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't edit this one sorry but thank you for the suggestions! I'll try to add them in the next chapter!

“Sir, Peter needs to be up in fifteen minutes.”

Tony groaned and rolled himself out of bed, feeling tired and slow. “Thanks, Fri.”

He wouldn’t usually be up sp early, but with Peter counting on him he couldn’t sleep till twelve like he usually did. 

He rubbed a hand through his hair and wrapped a hoodie around himself, making his way to the kitchen. 

Bruce was already at the table and handed him a mug, warm and strong smelling. “Rough night?”

Tony grabbed the cup and rolled it between his palms as he pressed a smooch to the scientist's cheek. “Thank you! You're the love of my life.”

Bruce laughed and pushed him off. “You have a fiancée.”

Tony made his way to the bench, inhaling his drink. “I was talking to the coffee.” He hadn’t forgotten about Bruce’s initial question and answered as he grabbed a bowl and some flour.

“But, yeah. Peter had a nightmare and asked me to sit with him. He wouldn't talk about the dream though.”

Bruce frowned over his newspaper, concern creasing his forehead. “He needs to talk about his issues or he’s only going to get worse. Physical healing is one thing but-”

Tony threw some baking soda and sugar into the bowl as he sighed. “I know, I already have a therapist lined up. It’s just getting him there that's the problem. He doesn’t want to talk to me about it and I feed him breakfast every morning. He’s not going to want to talk to a stranger.”

Bruce watched his sad, slumped shoulders as he mixed the pancake batter. “You started out sceptical at first and now you see David once a week. It’s going to take some getting used to but sometimes it’s better if its a stranger. That way, he doesn’t have to worry about what he says and how it could affect his relationships.”

Tony hummed non-committedly. “True.” 

Bruce tried another approach. “If Peters scans go well I’ll be taking the cast and brace off today. That should help his mood.”

Tony turned, hope lighting his eyes a little and he seemed to shake off his sullen demeanour in an instant. “Oh that’s great! He’ll love that!.”

Bruce nodded and went back to his breakfast. “So, go get him. You know he takes a while to wake up.”

Tony nodded and brushed the flour off his hands as he went. He had never had to take care of anyone but himself before but he found that he liked it. He liked having someone to show up and be there for. And Peter made it easy. 

He knocked on the teenagers door and poked his head in, watching the kid snore into his pillow. “Petey pop, it’s time to get up.”

Peter groaned but kept his eyes closed and Tony made his way in. “Come on, kid. You need to eat before your workout with Cap.”

There was no response this time and Tony ruffled the boys curls as he called out to the AI. “Fri, wakey wakey spider baby settings, please.” 

The lights lifted slowly as the curtains opened and Peter pulled his blankets over his head. 

“Nooo. Sleeping.”

Tony grabbed some clothes from Peters wardrobe and set them on the end of the bed before grabbing the kids wheelchair and pulling it over. “Not anymore, you’re not. You don’t want to keep Steve waiting do you?”

He pulled the blankets back and rolled the boy over as he yawned adorably. Tony even liked the mundane part of being a dad. Before Peter he would have spent his days in his office or lab but there was something about taking care of a kid that felt important and worthwhile. More than signing papers and writing checks did. 

“Let’s get you up and going. Bruce has something he wants to tell you.”

Peter’s sleepy hands gripped his arms as Tony sat him up. “Is it about the brace? Is he taking it off?”

Tony smiled and held him steady while Peter got his legs over the side of the bed. He was getting stronger but he was always unsteady after just waking up and his hands gripped Tony’s hoodie for balance. 

“You’ll just have to wait and ask him yourself.”

Peter shuffled himself over and managed to get into his chair as he woke up a little more, fingers rubbing through his messy curls. “I need a shower.”

Tony watched Peter wheel himself to the kitchen and followed behind, heading over to the pancakes. “And a haircut but both can be done after you’ve eaten.”

“Hey, Pete. How’d you sleep?”

Peter offered a small smile to the doctor as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “Okay. The brace makes it hard to sleep.”

Bruce nodded, apologetically. It wasn’t the most comfortable piece of equipment. “Yes, I am sorry about that and about not being able to come to dinner last night. I had some lab work that needed my attention.”

Peter shrugged and slumped in his chair a little. “I ruined it, anyway.”

Tony turned around and waved his spatula, voice hard. “No, you did not. What did I say about that?”

Peter rolled his eyes and swiped his thumbs across his phone, finding it hard with his cast on. “It wasn’t my fault, I need to be patient. Blah, blah, blah.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Watch it, mister. Or there won’t be any chocolate chip smiles on your pancakes.”

Bruce tried to amend the situation and put his paper down. “You know, Peter. I was thinking of doing another scan and possibly taking off your brace today. What do you think about that?”

Peter was about to answer, eyes glued to his screen when Tony pushed his phone down and tilted his chin up. “Eye contact.”

Peter almost rolled his eyes again when he breathed out a quiet laugh instead. Mr Stark had never sounded more like a parent. “That sounds great. Thanks.”

Bruce nodded and Tony set down a plate of smiley pancakes in front of Peter before presenting him with a palmful of pills. “Meds.”

Peter took them and threw them back as Tony handed over a glass of juice. “Thank you.” 

“Now, eat up. And if you’re still hungry let me know and I’ll throw some more in the pan.”

Peter looked up at him with bright, happy eyes. “Thanks. Sorry for getting grumpy.”

Tony smiled too and pressed his hand to the back of Peters head so he could pull him in and kiss his crown of curls. “I forgive you, bud. I know you’re just tired.” 

Peter felt his face heat and he ducked his head down when Tony turned away. Forehead kisses were a rarity and he loved them but it was a little unusual for Tony to be so affectionate. 

Bruce noticed too and tried to school his expression back into something less smiley. “I’ll leave you two to your breakfast but I’ll see you afterwards for those scans.” 

Peter grabbed his knife and fork as he waved. “Bye, Dr Banner.” 

Tony was still cooking, apron tied around his waist and flour handprints streaked down the back of his sweatpants from where he’d wiped them. 

He looked so happy, hair a mess of droopy curls and a sway in his hips as he hummed to himself. 

Peter watched him and looked back down at his pancake smiles. His dad used to make pancakes like that. When he was really little. It was one of the only memories of him that Peter had left. 

And all of a sudden he was crying. 

“Pete? Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” 

Tears dripped down his cheeks and wet his chin and he sniffled as he wiped his face, embarrassed.

Tony abandoned his spatula and raced over, kneeling down in front of Peter and pressing his palms to his wet cheeks. “What happened? Why are you all upset?” 

He wasn’t even really sure why he was crying. Because he missed his parents and Uncle Ben? Because he thought he’d never get to know what it was like to have a dad? Uncle Ben was his uncle but Tony was…he wasn’t sure what had caused his tears but he was glad Tony was there. 

“I’m sorry, I just-“ 

Tony dropped his hands and frowned at the pancakes. “Did you not like them?” 

Peter let out a sudden, bubbly, wet laugh and shook his head. “No, they’re great. Sorry, I’m just...really glad you’re here with me.” 

Tony’s face melted, as did his heart and he dried the teenager's cheeks with the backs of his fingers. “Aw, Petey-Pie. Me too.” 

He stood and patted the kids back. “Do you want some help cutting them up? They’re gonna get cold.” 

Peter nodded and pulled himself together. “Yeah, thanks.” 

“No problem, kiddo.” 

::::::::::::

Peter slid out of the machine and waited till Tony was beside him to try sitting up.

“Well, everything looks really good, Pete. You are officially brace free.” 

Tony beamed, ecstatic, just like he’d been when Bruce had cut Peters cast off his hand. 

“Wait till Cap sees you, buddy! He’s gonna be so proud.” 

He paused, looking down at the kid as his voice softened. “I’m proud.”

Peter ducked his head, trying to fight the smile taking over his face. “I didn’t do anything.”

Tony wrapped an arm around his back. “Yes, you did. You kept working and trying and look at you now.”

Peter peered down at his sweat pants and raggedy science shirt. “In my PJ’s?”

“Yeah, you might need a shower.”

::::

“Okay, hold on to me.”

“I can do it.”

Peter pulled his shirt off and handed it to Tony, taking the bathrobe in return. 

“Peter, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Once the robe was on him Peter lifted his arms, reaching for his mentor and Tony obliged, helping him stand and holding him steady. “What is it?”

Tony held the boy upright as Peter got his pants off under the robe.

Tony didn’t know how to say it and he stalled a little. “Well, you’ve been through a lot and you’re getting better and that’s great.” 

He helped the kid shuffle over to the seat set up in the shower, sitting him down on it before bringing the detachable showerhead down so he could use it. 

He finally met his eyes and took a breath, voice careful. “I think it might be good for you to talk to someone about what’s been going on in your head.” 

Peter frowned and Tony could practically feel the walls building up between them. 

“What? I don’t need-“

Tony didn’t want to push and he tried to keep the pleading tone from his voice. “Look, you won’t talk to me and that’s...I hoped you’d trust me enough to let me in but I understand if you’d prefer to talk to someone else. I have a therapist that helps me and I think he can really help you. Just give it a chance, Pete. Please.”

Peter glared at him, anger practically rolling off him but Tony didn’t back down. “I don’t need to talk to anyone. I’m fine.” 

Tony stood, indignation burning through him at the teenagers tone. 

“Peter, you fought off a wave of aliens on your own and was hurt so badly Bruce called your time of death. You’ve been through a rough recovery that’s still not finished and you’re harbouring guilt for that cop that died. Don’t pretend you're fine!” 

Peter clenched his hands into fists at his side. “So, What? Boo hoo, I’ll get over it.” 

Tony was losing his temper, voice snapping as he pointed a finger at him. “I know you’ve been having nightmares, Peter. I’m not an idiot. And you need to deal with this in a healthy way!” 

Peters cheeks were turning red but it wasn’t from embarrassment. “IS THIS HEALTHY?!”

Tony growled and spun away from him, heading for the door. He grabbed the handle and squeezed, arm and chest aching but he didn’t walk out just yet. “You’re going to see the therapist.” 

His tone left no room for argument and Peter offered none. He closed the door and left, annoyed at both the teenager and himself as he stormed down the hallway. 

“Tony?” 

Bruce was coming towards him, forehead creased in worry and hands already reaching for him. 

Tony pulled in a strained breath as he grabbed at his sore arm. “Bruce. The kid and I had a fight and I-“

But the doctor was already leading him away. “Friday alerted me. We need to get you into the medbay. Here, take this.”

Tony frowned but let himself be lead down the hallway, pills pressed into his hand as they went. “What? Why?”

The crease between Bruce’s eyebrows was deep. “You’re showing signs of angina and I need to make sure it’s not going to get worse.” 

“Oh.” Tony followed him without another word. 

:::::::::

Peter felt awful. He never should have yelled at Mr Stark like that. He just didn’t like talking about the ‘incident’ and he definitely didn’t want to go to a therapist about it. 

It would be better if he just tried to forget about the whole thing. 

He tried to as he showered, getting his robe off and setting it aside before getting started. It felt nice to be able to soak in the hot water, scrubbing shampoo through his hair but it didn’t get rid of the anxiety. 

He was worried about the fight he and Tony had and what he should say. He stressed over the therapist situation and wether Tony would even want to talk to him after the way he yelled. 

But finally his fingers were too pruny to ignore and he turned off the shower. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He needed to apologise and explain. 

He got his robe back on and looked up to the ceiling. “Friday? Can you tell Mr Stark I’m finished, please?” 

There was a pause before Friday’s voice came back. “Captain Rogers will be in to assist you in a moment.”

Peter frowned. “What? Friday, I asked for-“

He didn’t bother to finish his sentence, putting the pieces together himself. “Oh. He doesn’t want to talk to me, does he?” 

Friday didn’t get a chance to respond before there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” Peter tried to keep the sniffle from his voice and lifted a hand to scrub at his wet eyes as Steve made his way in. 

“Hey, you ready to get dry and dressed?” 

Peter nodded, keeping his head low as his lip wobbled and Steve leaned down to see him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did you not want me to-“

Peter shook his head and Steve knelt in front of him. “Mr Stark and I had a f-fight and now he doesn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t mean to yell.” 

Steve’s face fell and he reached forward to gently rub his hands over the teenagers arms. “No, buddy he’s not mad. He just had something else to deal with.”

There was something in the captains face that put Peter on edge. Maybe it was the averted eyes or maybe his spidey senses were responsible for twisting his stomach into knots. 

“Steve?” 

The captain lifted his eyes to Peters and sighed. “Tony’s in the med bay-“ 

Peter didn’t hear anything after that. He didn’t hear Steve telling him Tony was okay or telling him to sit down and wait. His heartbeat was too loud in his ears and he was on his feet and stumbling towards the door before he realised what he was doing. 

“Peter, stop! Listen to me!” 

The teenagers breathing was strained and his hearing leveled out enough to let him hear it as Steve forced him back in his seat. 

“Tony’s okay! He’s fine! His angina played up and Bruce wanted to check him out. He’s okay, now take a deep breath.” 

Peter sucked in a chestful of air, throat squeezing as his eyes teared up again. 

“It was my fault. I stressed him out. We had a fight and I yelled and-“ 

Steve shook his head and brushed the wet loops of hair out of the boys face. “No, you don’t know that. Tony’s always has heart issues.”

Peter was shivering, words jumping as his breaths shook. “I hurt him. Oh my god, I hurt Mr Stark. What if he had a heart attack?” 

He was spiraling and Steve grabbed the teenagers clothes and started wrestling them on to Peter. 

“Pete, buddy I need you to calm down. Tony’s okay. We can go see him right now, just try to breathe.” 

Peter wasn’t much help in getting dressed. Once Steve had gotten his pants on he wrapped the robe tighter around the kid and pulled him into his arms. 

Peter clung to him, shaking against the super soldiers chest as he cried into his collar. 

“Breathe, Peter. Come on, he’s okay.” 

He left the wheelchair and carried the boy to the medbay where Tony was lounging on a bed, looking relaxed as ever. There were monitors stuck to his chest and a blood pressure cuff wrapped around his arm as Bruce studied the screens around him. 

“The beta blockers should be enough to curb the effects but you need to keep up with your meditation and calming techniques.” 

Tony waved a hand at Bruce’s ramble and rolled his eyes, heart monitor jumping again as Steve came in with a crying kid in his arms. 

“Peter? What’s wrong? What happened? Is he okay?!” 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, only for Bruce to push him back down. “Tony, deep breaths. You too, Peter. What’s happened?” 

Steve opened his mouth to explain only for Peter to let out a sob. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.” 

Tony shuffled over on the bed so that Steve could set Peter down as he explained. 

“He thought this was about your fight.” 

Tony opened his arms and Peter immediately settled against his chest, face pressing to his neck as he sniffled miserably. 

“Aw, Pete. It’s not your fault. I’m okay. I’m sorry we fought. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I just want you to feel better, I want you to talk to me.” 

Steve felt the mood in the room change and took his leave. 

Peter tried to calm his ragged breathing as Tony rubbed a hand over his back. “Look, if you really don’t want to talk to the therapist, I can’t make you. But I want you to be able to talk to someone about how you’re feeling.”

Peter felt the guilt rise up in him once more. “It’s not that I don’t trust you enough to talk to you, it’s just that...I don’t want to talk about it with anyone. I just want it to go away.” 

Tony held the kid close, laying his cheek on the top of his damp curls. “It’s not going to go away if you bury it, Pete. That’s now how it works. I wish it was. I wish it were easier.” 

Peter sighed against him, finally relaxing. “Me too.”

They say there for a moment, Tony’s hand running over Peters back in slow smooth pulls until he was sure his breathing was back to normal. 

“Are you okay now? I miss my happy little man. Where did he go?” 

Peter grumbled against his neck but found his mouth pulling up into a smile despite himself. 

“I’m not little.” 

Tony laughed and started rocking the two of them as he sang, stupid and cheery. 

“You’re my honey bun sugar plum. Pummy ummy umchkin. You’re my sweetie pie.”

Peter rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Tony only to be wrapped up tighter. “Sttooop.”

The laugh left Tony’s voice and he brushed a hand over the back of Peters hair, tone becoming softer. “And I love you so and I want you to know, that I’ll always be right here.”

Peter knew that he meant it and that joking around with the song was Tony’s way of making sure Peter knew it. 

“And I love to sing sweet songs to you because you are so dear.” 

Peter did feel better, despite himself and he sat back, Tony smiling at him. 

“Where did you even learn that song?”’

The mechanic lifted an eyebrow, teasingly as he poked at Peters side. 

“It’s called the internet kid. It’s that thing you use to look up porn remember?” 

Bruce’s head turned around at that, where he’d been focussing on his work and Peter flushed red. 

“I-I didn’t- I don’t!” 

Tony seemed to find his embarrassment funny and he nodded as if amending himself. 

“Oh that’s right, you pay for viewed that in Germany”

Bruce started laughing and Peter nudged Tony’s shoulder. 

“Mr Stark!” 

Tony ruffled his hair, laughing as he rolled his eyes. “Calm down it’s fine. You’re a kid, it’s only natural and don’t worry I’m not looking at your search history. That’s all private.”

“.... don’t tell May.”

Tony was smug. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Just how badly hurt was Spider-man in the attack?” 

The newscaster swivelled in her chair to their guest, some fake-looking doctor in a lab coat.

“Well, Anne, I’ve analysed the footage from the attack and as you can see here, our local vigilante would have suffered some major damage. It wouldn’t surprise me if he never put that mask on aga-“

The tv flicked off and Tony threw the remote down, frowning at Peter. “What have I told you about watching that crap?” 

Peter rolled his eye and leaned back over his schoolwork. “Whatever.” 

Tony sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead, trying to be patient. Peters moods were all over the place lately. One moment he was fine and the next he was sullen and didn’t want to talk. It was exhausting. 

“What’s wrong?” There was little point in asking, Peter barely told him anything anymore but Tony wanted to keep trying in case it changed. He wanted Peter to know that he would always be willing to listen. 

“I want to go back to school.” 

Tony tilted his head, watching the kid write out equations. “You will when you’re ready.” 

Peter didn’t look up from his book. “I mean now.” 

Tony wasn’t sure how to say it. He tried to be calm and not make it a big deal but he wasn’t really sure what would set Peter off nowadays.

“If that’s what you want then we can look into it. But Bruce did say you’ll need some more time before you can fully walk around again. And if you go to school in your wheelchair you’ll have to explain.” 

Peter screwed up his nose, shoulders jerking up to his ears. “So? We could lie. Say it was a car accident.” 

“We could. But you disappearing from school at the same time as Spider-Man getting hurt and then coming back injured will look suspicious. There’s already too much connecting Spider-man to your school.” 

Peter slumped in his seat as he resumed his work. “Fine. I won’t go then.” 

“Peter, don’t be mad at me. You know I only want what’s best for you.”

Peter’s voice was low and quiet, like a cat stalking its prey. “I’m not mad.” 

He certainly sounded mad but Tony thought it best to drop it lest he make the teenagers mood worsen. 

“How about you invite Ned and MJ over? I’m sure they miss you.” 

Peters pen slowed and he frowned at his mentor, thankfully looking more confused than angry now. 

“But I’d have to explain my wheelchair to MJ. Then she’d know I was Spider-Man.” 

Tony shrugged and took a seat on the edge of the kids desk. “She doesn’t have to see it. We could just plant you on the couch and you can all play video games. I’ll get dinner sorted and Ned can help keep your cover.” 

Peter thought for a moment, frown tightening his expression before it softened and he smiled. “Okay, that sounds fun. I’ll text them.” 

Tony nodded and moved to leave, only catching Peters words a second before he walked out of the room. 

“Thank you.” 

He stopped and looked back at the kid who was already occupied by his phone. Whatever it took to make the kid happy. 

“No problem, kiddo.” 

:::::::::

“Dude! You look so much better!” 

Ned has come a little earlier than Mj, to make sure everything was ready. Of course the moment he saw Peter he wrapped him in a hug. 

Peter smiled, hugging Med back fiercely from where he sat in his wheelchair. “Thanks, I feel way better too. Dr Banner even said I could upgrade to a walker soon.” 

Ned released him and walked beside him as Peter wheeled to the lounge. “So, how have you been doing with everything else? I mean, the news still talk about what happened and now the interview with that cops family and-”

Peter stopped, hands faltering on his wheels as he looked up. “What? They interviewed her family?”

Ned frowned. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. “Yeah. You didn’t see it?” 

Peter shook his head and started moving again. “No. Mr Stark doesn’t like me watching the news anymore. He’s worried I’ll be tempted to go out in my spider suit. As if I could.” 

Ned watched Peter wheel himself to the couch and shift himself out and onto it. “Peter, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem okay. You look tired.” 

Peter sighed and shoved his chair away from the couch, grumpy already. “Would everyone stop saying that? It’s so annoying. I’m fine.” 

Ned frowned as he watched the wheelchair spin away. “Dude, we keep asking because we care about you and if I’m not the only one worried then maybe I have a reason to be.” 

Peter sighed and sank his face into his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry. I just haven’t been sleeping that great. I’ll be fine. Let’s just play video games.” 

Ned was still worried, his friend clearly needed to talk about it but he didn’t seem to want to and there wasn’t much convincing Peter of anything once he’d made up his mind. He could talk to Mr Stark about it later. 

“Okay, I’ll put your wheelchair away. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Ned left and Peter felt awful. He was being such a jerk lately. He didn’t mean to be but with how tired he was and how bored and frustrated it just all bubbled out. 

He wasn’t sure how anyone put up with him when he was like that. 

When Ned came back he found Peter with a new attitude and a smile on his face. 

“Hey, Ned? Thanks. For being here and not making me feel weird about the wheelchair and everything. You’re my best friend and I’m really lucky to have you.” 

Ned raised an eyebrow. “Woah, where did this come from?”

Peter ducked his head, embarrassed as Ned got the game system set up. “I was being a dick before. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’m sorry.” 

Ned shrugged and handed him a controller. 

“I forgive you. And I get you’re going through a lot but you can still talk to me.” 

“I know.” Ned took a seat beside him and rolled out his shoulders as he smiled. 

“Okay, now we only have about twenty minutes before MJ gets here so let’s go for a quick round so I can beat your ass.” 

Peter nudged his shoulder, feeling better already. “No way, dude. You’re ass is grass.” 

:::::::

“Wow. All that time on vacation and you’re still as pale as you ever were.” 

Peter spun on the couch and smiled, face splitting into a huge grin when he saw her. “MJ! You have to come and play this! We just got a bunch of DLC’s!” 

Ned stood from the couch and high fived her in greeting and she was a little disappointed that Peter hadn’t gotten up. 

He offered her a controller though and patted the space next to him. 

Happy, who had escorted her up walked past the couch to ruffle Peters hair, messing it up as he chuckled. 

“Alright, Tony told me you tykes need feeding so what do you want?” 

Ned was already distracted by the game so, Peter answered for them all. “Pizzas fine, thanks, Hap. Make sure MJ’s is vegetarian and just me and Ned’s usual. Oh, and could you get some Vanilla Coke? That’s MJ’s favourite.” 

MJ smiled to herself at the small detail that she’d never even told Peter before pushing the joy down and focusing on the game. 

“Sure thing, kid.” 

Ned and Peter droned out the same words in the exact same tone and MJ couldn’t help but laugh. “Thaaank you Haaappy.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled. As he made his way out. “Whatever, brats.”

“So, you just hang out with the Avengers? In Tony Starks building?”

Peter tried to share his concentration equally between the video game and MJ’s answer without lending any to the way MJ’s thigh and shoulder kept bumping up against his. 

“Well, yeah. Mr Stark hired me for the internship and since I was working with him so much we spent a lot of time together. Most of the time it just felt like we were hanging out so, now we’re kind of close. I guess.”

MJ spared a sceptical glance towards Peter in between combo moves. “And he took you on vacation. Like all bosses do.”

Peter ignored the sarcasm, fingers faltering on the controller as he leaned over the back of the couch to grab something, presenting it to her with a shy smile. 

“Yeah, I uh, got you something.”

He handed her a small woven bracelet, the leather stained a deep purple, almost black with beads hanging off the ends. It was pretty. She frowned. 

“What’s this?” 

Peter stammered, unable to help himself from getting nervous. “It’s a friendship bracelet. Mr Stark and I got them on our trip. You don’t have to wear it. I know it’s not like, haunted or part of a conspiracy theory or murder but I don’t know, I just thought it was pretty.” 

MJ loved it. Of course she did. She hadn’t had many friends before and now this one had gotten her a gift. While on holiday. Which meant he’d been thinking of her. 

She tried to hide her blush, and pushed the bracelet over her hand, tightening it around her wrist so it wouldn’t fall off. Ever. 

“Thanks, Peter.” 

He smiled at her, soft and excited and MJ smiled back. 

“He got me one too.” 

Ned thrust his arm in front of them, oblivious to the moment he’d just interrupted. But MJ was happy for the distraction and bumped her wrist against his. 

“Ha. We’re matching.” 

Ned’s bracelet was a rainbow stained stark contrast to MJ’s. Perfect. 

Ned knew of course that Peter hadn’t really gotten them on holiday. He’d ordered them online but the thought was still there. 

They went back to the game in contented silence until MJ spoke again. 

“Hey, so I get that Mr Stark took you with him on his trip to help with a project or whatever but why are you still staying here? As in, not going to school and living with your aunt? Have you been adopted?” 

Her tone was teasing but Ned nodded. “Pretty much. He has his own room and everything.”

Peter made a face and grumbled as he lost focus and lost the round. “Ned! I-well, not really. I mean, we have family dinners and I really love Mr Stark and he said he loved me too so he’s kind of like my dad I guess but I haven’t told him that. And no, he hasn’t adopted me we’re just really close.”

MJ side-eyed him and his stuttering. “You didn’t answer my first question.” 

Peter winced. They hadn’t exactly worked out a good excuse for that yet. “Mr Stark still needs my help with the project, we’re just doing it from his lab and office here. I’m keeping up with my work from school so it's not like I’m falling behind.” 

MJ nodded but she didn’t entirely believe him. Peter had always been terrible at lying. He was too pure and innocent not to feel guilty for every word of deceit that came from his mouth. 

But she dropped it and they kept playing. 

Happy brought them their food and they ate while watching new episodes of Brooklyn nine-nine. 

“Ned, can you grab me another glass from the kitchen?” 

The teenager nodded and got up to get it, the kitchen attached the the large lounge making it easier to yell at him from across the expensive space. 

“Which cupboard is it again?” 

“Top left above the dishwasher.” 

MJ snickered and grabbed another slice of vegetarian pizza. “Why don’t you get it yourself?” 

She was joking but Peters face paled and he started fidgeting with his hoodie. 

“Uh, I stayed up late last night so I’m tired and I gotta-“ he was mumbling, suspicious and unlike himself and MJ nudged his shoulder. 

“Calm down, I’m messing with you. Ned can be your butler for all I care.”

Peter huffed out a nervous laugh and MJ began to wonder what she’d done wrong. 

Then it happened again. “Aw man, the cables come loose.” 

Ned tried to fix it but it was all high tech screens and super thin wires that he hadn’t seen before and Peter explained the whole process to him while he sat on the couch. 

“Yeah, then just take that wire and put it back in the yellow port. No, the other one.” 

It was strange, something was off and whatever it was, Ned knew about it. 

MJ didn’t know what it could be until their lies finally unravelled. 

“If you use your power move I’m gonna end you.”

“You’re way faster than me! I have to use it!” 

Peter laughed and jerked forward, leaning with the movement on his controller like it would help his character move faster. But suddenly he sucked in a breath of pain and his controller dropped into his lap. 

“No, no, no, not now. Not now. Shit.” 

Ned dropped his own controller and turned to look at his friend, game forgotten as his face creased in concern. “Peter?” 

Peter closed his eyes and braced his hands on the couch under him, back arching as he tried to escape the pain. “Ned-ugh- get Steve and T-Tony.” His voice was so thin MJ could barely hear it. 

Ned stood, hands reaching for his friend but not touching as he called out to the empty air. “Friday, tell Mr Stark and Captain Rogers that it’s happening again!” 

MJ whipped her head between the two of them, not knowing what to do. “What’s happening?” 

Peter sucked in another breath just to push it out with a cry of pain, lifting a hand to try and reach for MJ. “It’s okay. It’s nothing just-” He cried out again, hand snapping back down to grab at the couch, sweat beading on his forehead.

It was all happening so fast and suddenly two Avengers were rushing in and reaching for Peter.

“Ned, get MJ out of here!” 

Ned did as he was told, gently pulling at MJ’s arm even as his eyes stayed glued to Peter. 

Captain America was already kneeling next to the teenager and pulling him to lay down on the couch, soft words of comfort spilling from him as he did. 

“It’s okay, we’ll get it to stop. Just focus on your breathing.” 

Tears were spilling down Peter's face, cheeks a bright pink as Mr Stark brushed his hair back. “You’re okay, kiddo. Breathe nice and slow like we practiced. It’ll pass. You’re doing great buddy.” 

Ned tugged relentlessly on MJ’s arm, pulling her from the room before she could see anymore of Steve kneading the knots from Peters's leg. 

Once out of the room she turned to Ned, his eyes sad and mouth right with worry. “What was that? What’s wrong with him?” 

::::::::

Peter gripped the couch so tightly he felt the fabric tearing but he didn’t have the energy to be sorry. Steve’s firm fingers were digging into his tight muscles and the pain was overwhelming. 

“You’re okay, almost there. Breathe, Peter.”

It was easier said than done when the pain was so bad he could barely get a breath in at all. But he was familiar enough with pain to know how to force his chest to relax. 

He cried out again, eyes squeezing shut, unable to see through the tears anyway. Every sensation but the pain was blocked away and he clenched his teeth to stop them chattering, whole body trembling from the agony running through it. 

It was all he could do to keep his hands on the couch to keep them from ripping Steve’s hands off his calf. The pain was bad enough without Steve kneading the muscle but it was the only thing that would get it to stop. 

Finally, blessedly, the pain eased and his muscles relaxed, Steve’s fingers chasing the last of the stiffness away. 

Peters previously tensed body sagged against the couch and his strangled whimpers collapsed into sobs. 

He was exhausted and he hurt and it had happened in front of MJ. 

Tony gently pulled the teenager's hands from the couch cushions and held them in his own as he cooed. “Aw, kiddo. You’re okay. I know. I know.” 

Steve sighed in relief when the tension faded and patted Peter's knee. “I’ll go talk to the kids. You okay with him?” 

Tony nodded and gave Steve a grateful smile, slapping a hand to his shoulder in thanks. 

“Yeah, I got him.” 

Peter felt pathetic, laying there sobbing like a kid but Tony understood and scooped him up into his arms. 

“It’s alright, buddy. You do whatever you need to.” 

Peter tried to calm himself down but he was so tired. All his muscles were fatigued from their work and he was done. He wrapped his arms around his mentors neck and laid his head down on his shoulder, breaths coming as choppy gasps. 

“I h-hate it.” 

Tony rubbed a hand over Peters back in long soothing pulls and it helped to slow the teenagers breathing. “I know, spiderbaby. Me too. I wish I could make it better for you.” 

Peter curled his fingers in Tony’s shirt and closed his eyes, words wet and quiet. “You are making it better.” 

Tony couldn’t help but smile at that, eyes pricking with really lame tears before he blinked them away. 

“You want to get to bed?” 

Peter wanted to hang out with his friends and try to explain to MJ what the hell just happened but all his body wanted was to lay down. He nodded against Tony’s shoulder but made no move to let go. 

Thankfully Tony didn’t seem to want to release him either and he simply shifted him in his arms until he was able to lift him from the couch without dislodging his arms. 

“Okay, kiddo, let's get you to your room.” 

:::::::::::::

MJ could hear Peter crying from behind the door and Mr Starks softer voice trying to calm him down. 

“What is happening? What the hell was that?” 

MJ liked to think that she was generally pretty tough but Peter was sobbing and if someone didn’t tell her what was happening she might join him. 

Ned didn’t look like he wanted to answer and thankfully, he didn’t have to. Captain America opened the door and have them a tight smile as he came through and closed it behind him. 

“Hey, guys. Hi, MJ. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Steve.” 

Ordinarily, she would have shaken his hand and told him that she knew his name but she didn’t care about that now. 

“What’s wrong with Peter? Is he okay?” 

Steve dropped his offered hand and sighed, gesturing instead to the room he just vacated. “Let’s go sit down and I’ll explain.” 

MJ looked to Ned, who definitely knew what was happening and looked guilty for it, before stepping through to the lounge. 

Peter was just being carried out by Tony as they entered and MJ caught a glance at the teenagers tear-streaked face over Mr Starks shoulder before they disappeared through another door. 

He had still been crying but quietly now and his arms were wound tightly around Tony’s neck. 

Her eyes pricked with her own tears as he wiped angrily at her face. “You both know what’s going on so just tell me. He wasn’t on vacation was he? He’s hurt.” 

Steve dragged an armchair over with one hand and took a seat, gesturing for the two kids to do the same. 

MJ did as she was asked and tried to slow her angry huffs of air as Ned took the spot beside her. 

Finally, Steve shook his head. “You’re right, Peter hasn’t been on vacation all this time. He and Tony were for a little while but while driving to a restaurant another car hit theirs. Peter was hurt and he’s been here recovering. That’s why he hasn’t been going to school.” 

MJ lifted a hand to her mouth. She hadn’t been expecting that. “Is he okay? What- What was that in there?” 

Steve folded his hands, eyes lowered. More bad news. MJ felt sick. 

“Peters spine was damaged in the crash-“ 

MJ sucked in a shaky breath. “Oh my god. He wouldn’t get up. I thought it was weird that he wasn’t moving from the couch and now- is it permanent?” 

Steve quickly shook his head. “His doctors are confident that he’ll recover and he is getting better. He’s not strong enough to walk on his own just yet. He’s been using a wheelchair. What you saw in there was his muscles spasming because of his injury. It’s painful but it’s not dangerous.” 

MJ scrubbed angrily at her eyes before any tears could fall and she turned to Ned and she smacked the back of her hand against his chest. “And you knew! You knew and you lied to me!” 

Steve leapt to his defence, hands raised as he scooted forward in his seat. “Peter didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want to worry you.” 

MJ rolled her eyes. “But Neds allowed to worry?” 

Steve sighed and tried again, voice quiet. “He was embarrassed. He’s told me how strong and amazing you are and he didn’t want you to see him hurt and stuck in bed.” 

Ned nodded, eyes looking misty. “Yeah, he didn’t let me see him at first. He thought seeing him with all the monitors and braces on would freak me out. He was right. I was glad to see him but it was really hard to sit beside him and not be able to do anything. He didn’t want to do that to you.” 

MJ hated that Peter had singled her out as the one to keep secrets from but she got it. She wouldn’t have known what to do if she saw Peter hurt and in a hospital bed. 

She wiped her eyes and sniffed, pulling herself together. “So, he’s okay now? Can we see him?”

Steve offered another small smile but MJ knew that this one meant no. “I’m sorry, the spasms really tire him out. He’s sleeping it off now but I’m sure you can come back and see him when he’s feeling up to it.” 

Ned ducked his head and nodded, standing. “Thanks Captain Rogers.” 

Steve offered a brighter smile this time and stood too. “You can just call me Steve, Ned. I’m not even a captain.” 

:::::::::::

Tony lowered Peter into his bed and pulled the covers over him. “Lets get you settled. Here.” 

He pulled a tissue from the box on Peters bedside table and dried his cheeks, giving him a small smile as he pushed his hair back. “There you go, kid.” 

Peter had calmed down some but he was still upset and gathered his blanket to his chest, holding it tight. “What’s gonna happen with Ned and MJ?” 

Tony knew that the teenager liked the hair patting and he continued to run his fingers through the curls to settle the both of them. “Steve will explain and get Happy to take them home. We knew that something like this was a possibility, Steve will have to tell her you were injured but he’ll say that you were in a car accident.” 

Peter hiccuped a whimper, starting to cry all over again. He didn’t want to but he was so tired it was all he could do. “She’s gonna know I lied.” 

Tony tutted, wiping palms over those soft pink cheeks. “Hey, shh, it doesn’t matter. She’ll understand. Just take a deep breath, Petey. Try to calm down.” 

Peter’s eyes were already drooping and he yawned, hand searching across the blankets when his eyes closed of their own accord. 

Tony caught his hand in his ad squeezed it, letting him now he was still there even if he couldn’t see him. 

“Can you stay?” 

Tony smiled and brushed his thumb over Peters cheek, heart warming when he turned into it, face pressing against his palm. “Of course.”


End file.
